Pretty Little Liars
Pretty Little Liars

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 363 USERS: B
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A Report On The Party & Guests

Ashley: "Thanks so much, Veronica. If you could actually fucking do what you've been promising for a month to do, I'd be ever so grateful. Love to your broken family."

Pastor Ted is whistling some sort of spiritual while he cleans Ashley's kitchen, because he is the sexiest person on the entire planet who has ever existed.

Ashley: "Man, my life is nonstop drama. Kids bleedin', pastors cleanin'..."
Pastor Ted: "I figured it wasn't your divorce attorney, given that you were talking about children's blood and it's the middle of the night and we're on a date."
Ashley: "This deranged cop wants to get Hanna in trouble for something she couldn't possibly have done, but he's already decided she's a criminal, so who cares about probable cause? Oh, you know him. You're buds. I'm leaving that part out."
Pastor Ted: "That last of the many phone calls you just made in the middle of our date sounded positive, though."
Ashley: "Thank God, right?"

(...Ooops.)

Pastor Ted: "That guilty look about the Lord's name, I have seen it before. Oh, right! When you ditched me at that church social, for the rummage sale that's about to start up again tomorrow, was that because you thought I was going to judge you?"
Ashley: "I'm a crunchy nutbar, Ted. I am ten pounds of nuts in a shapely five-pound bag."
Pastor Ted: "No doubt. But you really shouldn't prejudge me as a prejudger. When they ordained me they didn't take my sense of normalcy. Or my dick."
Ashley: "For the record, I am ready and willing to do both."
Pastor Ted: "Then I got your probable cause right here."

They do it in the soft light of a million sexy candles. Say what you will about her negotiation tactics, but Ashley Marin can close a deal.

FERMINGHAM EZRAGERALD, CAR OF

Wesley: "You're being really weird and hostile, I don't get it."
Aria: "Did you even tell Ezra that I called, or just..."
Wesley: "He never would have showed! He didn't have his phone, I was helping..."
Aria: "-- Like you're helping him with the car and that nonsense?"
Wesley: "I get it. We seem weird, and dysfunctional..."
Aria: "Bitch, I invented dysfunctional. You people are outright hostile. You will buy and sell a motherfucker..."
Wesley: "So he told you about Maggie. Huh. I only found out about it lately."

Pretty Little Liars

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