Caleb: "It's going to be somebody close to you, that's why the summer finale is hashtagged #betrAyal. It's gonna be the Mona thing all over again..."
Hanna: "From which I have still not recovered! Listen, I have missed you so much it's made me do stupid things! Crazy things!"
Caleb, verbatim: "Hanna, you're talking to the guy who just kidnapped his own girlfriend."
Hanna: "Yeah, but you didn't kiss Wren. ...Wait, did you? Pics or it didn't happen."
Caleb: "Remember how Toby said he was going to take A down all by himself, and then stomped around in his weird, cute little way? And you know he was going to be murdered? Same thing here."
Hanna: "All these boys, trying to fix our problems for us and tell us what to do. Interesting. I see that working out real fuckin' well for everybody."
Caleb: "Shut up and let's have sex in this gross alley behind the Applewood Grille."
Hanna: "Done and done."
HASTINGS - HASTINGS, AS EVER & ALWAYS
Cece: "That was good no-strings-attached sex doing, Eric! You learned to do it all the different ways since last we had our brand of creepy soulless trustfund sex."
Eric: "That's... A fairly accurate assessment."
Spencer: "Cece, where the fuck were you?"
Cece: "Riding the Long Kahn, like everybody should at least once. Why are you sweating everywhere? You look like a teenager at a postgrad swinger party for the dead inside."
Spencer: "I feel like this is an elaborate scheme to 'get' me somehow. Why I think that is, my entire life to date. There's not even a UPenn guy, is there?"
Cece: "After your Jenna showdown -- which by the way was entirely in code and super boring for everybody except you three and the people that watch this show -- he came by for a sec. We talked about how great you are, and I solved everything."
Spencer: "Oh, okay. That checks out. I'm looking forward to matriculating there, then."
Cece: "Two down."
Spencer: "What was that?"
Cece: "Nothing. Let's bounce, if that's what you want."
ASHLEY MARIN DATING NOSEDIVE #3142
Ashley: "Thanks so much, Veronica. If you could actually fucking do what you've been promising for a month to do, I'd be ever so grateful. Love to your broken family."
Pastor Ted is whistling some sort of spiritual while he cleans Ashley's kitchen, because he is the sexiest person on the entire planet who has ever existed.