Pretty Little Liars
Pretty Little Liars

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 367 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
One Thing About Boys

Caleb's being really involved in this episode, huh? I hope he doesn't tell Hanna he loves her or starts waving a gun around. If he does either of those things, that bitch is getting shot. I know how this show works.

EMILY'S BAD IDEAS WHY NOT

Angie: "Em! You answered your phone! You're there! This is Hanna, I just borrowed one of your coworkers' phones to fool you."
Emily: "Shut up and go away. I'm leaving town with Cousin Nate. He's taking me to someplace called the Lighthouse Rock Inn, where we can be all alone in a deserted cabin out of cell phone range, like the complete strangers we are."
Hanna: "We love you, Emily."
Emily: "Suck a nut, 'Angie.'"

Pam: "Hey, are you sure this makes sense that you would go to a scary death cabin with a person you don't know, who terrifies the scariest person in this whole town?"
Emily: "Yes."
Pam: "Okay, I'm cool with letting you do whatever you want."

Spencer: "So you say she's leaving town with her stalker that keeps pressuring her sexually even though he knows she's gay? And who scares the shit out of Jenna Thing and has publicly attacked her more than once?"
Hanna: "Yeah, apparently they're making a weekend of it."
Spencer: "Good for her."

THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD

Toby randomly walks up after Hanna leaves Spencer staring into space, and they run in slow motion at each other and the camera whirls around them while they embrace and it takes forever and ever. Man, I hope Toby doesn't tell Spencer he loves her or anybody mentions one more goddamn time how honest and trustworthy he is or they have gauzy montage-music intercourse, because if any of those things happens, that bitch is gonna turn out to be on the A-Team. I know how this show works.

IN THE LAND OF OUR FITZFATHERS

Ezra is clearly working, and Aria clearly is not interested in letting him work. This verbatim moment kind of says it all:

Aria: "...Hey Ezra?"
Ezra: "Love ya, babe."

Pretty Little Liars

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