I love Mona but this is not my style of humor, both because of the structure of it and because I think it's unfair to an actor, especially an awesome one like JP, to give them something ungainly like this:
Mona: "Well, baste me in bling and call me Bulgari!"
Decidedly unmusical, not to mention played, like, Carol Burnett called, but this is a very good script anyway, so I shouldn't bitch. Anyway, it seems a Ryan Giraldo was caught tagging, but then put back on the team after his father, a Mr. Giraldo, who owns a Danish furniture store, offered Tamborelli a $2,000 office chair which he expensed at $29.99.
Mona: "She shoots, she scores!"
Mona, I'm begging you. Anyway, that's the bribe. Emily pulls it together finally.:
Emily: "Wait, stop. I can't blackmail a school official."
Mona: "Honey, you can't be a Shark if you're toothless!"
There we go.
Jason: "Same number, same house. You know where to find me. That house. Next door to your house. Where I live. Your number, plus or minus two. Easy to spot."
Veronica: "Oh, hey Jason."
Jason: "That would be me, leaving your husband a message. BTW, you lied and he's not out of town. Or in space."
Spencer: Lurking, of course.
Veronica: "Yeah, I lied. But it's none of your business where he is anyway."
Jason: "Ohhhhh it's my business. It's always been my business. I just didn't know that until recently!"
Veronica: "Jason, we're here to, in part, forge new connections. True. But this is maybe not the best approach."
Jason: "Depends on how you look at it, Mrs. Hastings. It's also about coming clean and owning up to the truth, but hey, if you want to stay in denial, go for it."
Spencer: "What does this mean? Just kidding, clearly he is my half-brother. I better have a flashback to be sure."
Ali was at Spencer's, doing magazine quizzes and reading about German cannibals as you do, while downstairs the Hastingses were having at it.:
Alison: "Ready for this? Some dude in Germany went on a dating website and advertised for someone he could kill and eat."
Spencer: "Shut up!"
Alison: "I'm serious! And got, like, 220 responses. Why does every woman think that she can change a guy?"
There was a rimshot. (I am like obsessed with that case to this day. I don't even get why people like to get slapped around in bed, much less why you would want to eat somebody. To me they are... It's not a lateral move, I'm not saying that exactly, but for me they are similarly confusing. Why? How come? To what end?)