But no, because at this very time in this very store, Jenna is trying on a scary lace nightie with a scary lace merry widow or whatever, underwear words, it's black and looks like creepy spiderwebs but that could just be the effect of Jenna.

"I want it to be perfect. He likes lace!"

Toby does not like lace to any particular degree, I don't think; and Jenna is meeting somebody in a motel room tonight to show him her scary outfit. Any guesses? I mean, we know it's going to be somebody inappropriately old because that's how this show does things, but I can't imagine that Ian is/was actually fucking every underage girl in the entire high school, even the blind incest ones, I mean, that would just strain credibility.

It's hard to explain what is awesome about the scene of Ezra explaining to Aria that her father came after his nuts, but it has to do with the acting of Ian Thomas. It's absurdly funny and Aria is so not having any of it and Ezra just keeps saying, "The man is crazy! A crazy person is your father!" I don't know, it's adorable.

Pam Fields shows up at school and Ella, of course, runs directly to her: "I was going to call you, but then I saw you were coming in for the parent-teacher conferences. I just want you to know that the school is not going to be bullied by Nick McCullers. Everybody here loves Emily!" Pam's like oh shit, what now because everybody in town hates Nick McCullers because he's not pretty on the inside.

"He came in making a big deal about how he thinks Emily's getting special treatment because she's gay, everybody knows Emily's the better swimmer except McCullers..." You know, basically getting the story across and not really watching Pam's face turn all different colors. Pam's like, "He said that shit?" Yeah, in front of everybody, at lunch. "Was Emily there?" Oh girl. Ella's like, "It gets better?"

Um, inside Jenna's house it's bright and airy and everything is homey and sparkling clean and you feel good just being there. Not every house can be a home, but this house is every home.

Just kidding! It looks like a place where a giant spider would live after her husband was killed at sea. There is an entire wall of snow-globes and music boxes in one room that is 95% Victorian dolls with knives in their hands and blood on their petticoats. That kind of furniture where you know it would maybe be soft to sit on, but also kind of crumbly and old and uriney maybe, or with a secret hard piece of wood just where it looked softest, and when you sat down a huge dust storm would happen. One room is crawling with snakes and the snakes all have bedbugs and the bedbugs all have Hep C. There is a sex dungeon, one room filled with taxidermied fowl, and there is also a giftwrapping room. One room is just spikes.