So Ezra sticks out his hand and gives a firm handshake, and then explains the fairness policy of Rosewood, all in this very even and respectful and even bright/friendly tone, and then tries to get Nick to the principal's office, which is where Nick flags the first semiotic sign of where we're headed -- the phrase "politically correct," which never meant anything but whose usage always and only means you're a bigot in 2011 -- and then right before Nick refers to Emily (who is a child, okay, and whom he doesn't know is sitting right there, with Hanna sort of stroking her elbow in horror) as a dyke...

"You're in a cafeteria, Mr. McCullers. Filled with kids. Trying to have lunch. I don't think that's the audience you want, is it?"

Reader, I married him. I am generally offended by shippers and shipping -- it's like judging a house's architecture based on the taste of the color when you lick the house -- but I can foresee myself being much more lenient with their gaywad relationship in the future, because that was hot in a West Wing way. The Aria part of me -- and I think we all know how gigantic that part secretly is based purely on how much I bitch about her -- responded to that shit like whoa. The actor and character both at once performing just an amazing job of what's going on.

Anyway, I know I'm super digressing this week and that wasn't really my plan, and after Valentine's Day I'm barely street-legal so I should be wrapping this shit up and not going on and on, but there's so much in this episode that really touched me, and it's funny because the homosexuality is, again I would stress, not the issue here: It's the way that everybody sees around the gay thing to the actual thing, and then they act like adults. Like a community, a family, of grownups.

I don't think of Emily as some unkickable puppy, I just think -- totally separate from her sexuality and its associated storylines -- she's one of the best things you could hope to be. Smart is handed to you, good is not. Everybody thinks Griffyndor is the goal, but really it's Hufflepuff, because that's the hardest thing to be. So as a smartypants -- which you obviously are, my darling, this readership is self-selecting -- it's our job to become strong in other ways. Being a bitch is easy; being Emily is very, very hard.

(And since you asked: Gryffindor is Aria, Spencer is Ravenclaw and the good side of Slytherin, Hanna is the bad side of Slytherin plus a lot of Hufflepuff -- unlike, thankfully, in the books where she was just gross, gross, gross. Jung tells us that four is the number of completion, which is why there are always four basic characters in every television show, but inevitably Slytherin gets shit on -- Blanche Devereux, Jackée, Santana -- which is why Hanna and Spencer are both such a breath of fresh air. They are actual real people for once, which in a world where Barney from HIMYM is the best we Slytherins can do, is a real damn accomplishment.)