Pretty Little Liars

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
The Big B.A.D. Wolf

Spencer goes to Toby's house, but he's busy dealing with "something" having to do with the DA, who has summoned him via his lawyer's towncar to discuss things. Spencer's -- first of all, she's dressed even gayer than usual, in the good way, the best way really, with one Temple Grandin braid down the side and a bunch of bricabrac'd cowboy gear happening -- and she's like, "Okay but WTF with the Braille? There's no reason for you to be weird about this." Instead of saying the proper response, which is "For no narrative reason I know that you should be looking at numbers and not letters because the first ten letters of the alphabet in Braille also correspond to numerals" he's just like, "It's not BAD, it's that you're reading it wrong, I can't explain now, our storyline doesn't start in this act, come see me verbatim Saturday morning when Jenna's out at her flute lesson."

Never Enough Jenna. Just hearing about these little tidbits and stuff about how she spends her day make me feel insane. 9-10 Flute Lesson. 10-12 Lingerie Fitting. 12-2 Attempted Brother-Fucking. 2-3 Nap. 3-6 Being A all over the place. (A sends Spencer some text about how Jenna's going to be pissed once she finds out that Spence is the second PLL to befriend Toby, but it almost seems like icing on the cake at this point. Toby has made us well aware of this obvious fact.)

Every time they say "Noel Kahn" the closed-caps say "an old con." Brilliant, no? That is some Ellen Raskin shit, courtesy of the universe. So Emily jokes around with Hanna about how if she's such a good judge of character, Caleb-wise, how do you explain Noel? Um, because he is totally fucking awesome. That's how. Pam shows up with laundry baskets begging her daughter to eat some cobbler, offering to bring it directly to her in bed if she will stop hating her, but all Emily can hear is how her life is disgusting and she is not pretty on the inside and Pam will always be grossed out by her. Which is totally understandable, even with Pam's face outside her door clearly with her gay-hating heart in a million pieces desperate to reconnect, but it's not like Emily doesn't have a point.

"Paige is such a knob," says Hanna, but Emily knows better -- and that it has nothing to do with Emily, really, at all; but the weirdo arrival of her is still too fresh so Emily just changes the subject to the Hanna/Aria weirdness of the past week... And that's the transition to the conversation between Aria and Spencer, which is more exciting only because of Spencer's insane cowboy outfit. They discuss the useless Toby clue and Aria dismisses the breakup with Hanna and I dunno, it's hard to imagine a conversation between Aria and Spencer that wouldn't be about clues and murders and stuff. It's their common thing, their whole Hardy Girl sisterhood. Well, that and dressing like lunatics from an insane asylum.

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Pretty Little Liars




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