Pretty Little Liars

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Big B.A.D. Wolf

Suddenly, Spencer is able to deduce -- from like the Doppler Effect of a siren going past -- that Aria is not only talking to her from Ezra's house, but is currently sitting on his bed. Spencer = magic. The best part of the conversation is when she gets very intense and goes, "Is he taking a shower?" Like, of course Spencer would find zero wrong with Aria's relationship and think it's adorable, both because she is a dirty old war vet in the body of a young girl but also because older men are her snack cakes: You just pretend Ezra's dating Melissa, and it all makes sense.

Anyway, Ezra comes home with takeout and immediately starts chundering on about how Byron is meeting with him tomorrow and it's going to be weird because he can't compartmentalize the fact that he's raping Byron's daughter, statutorily speaking, the way he can with Ella: "I can see your mom as a colleague. She's safe. But your dad is your dad, which is complex." Since Aria can't very well say, "No it's fine, he fucks his students too -- that's why I'm here as a matter of fact," she just hands him some bull about how he is amazing.

Ashley's dressing up for her date with Great Nephew, so that she can once again fuck her way out of theft charges, and Hanna's all suspicious about GN even though she hasn't even seen his sketchy self yet, and then who shows up at the door? Not the lizard man, but in fact Caleb. Caleb from the basement. It's awkward and Ashley immediately gets a weird vibe off of Caleb, I guess because he's smartassy and dark or something, a minority, and then she runs off to tell Hanna not to study with Caleb in the house, to get out in public because he's a motorcycle kind of boy: "I knew Sean. Sean was a minister's son. Sean called you Hanna-Banana." Aw, Sean.

Lizard Leland arrives and Caleb answers the door and is cocky and edgy and x-treme some more and Ashley needs Leland to sign some kind of paperwork, and because everything on this show is so suspenseful all the time and everybody acts so weird all the time you might not even notice Caleb staring suspensefully at Leland's pen that he pulls out of his pocket. But first: Why did he come to the door? To meet Ashley, in whose house he is squatting. Why? Caleb likes Hanna, obvs. But he changes the subject to how Hanna doesn't like Lizard Leland, gets a vibe, and she's right, because Leland was carrying a crappy plastic pen when everybody knows architects are pen snobs and draw for a living and are quote "strictly Montblanc and beyond," and whatever. The trained eye of the detective.

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Pretty Little Liars

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