Hanna and Spencer hide a fake note on Mrs. Reynold's comatose body, inviting A to show up at what turns into a Rummage Sale Shindig at the church. I guess when you have a rummage sale that goes on for weeks and takes up the majority of people's lives, they deserve a party. When Ashley accepts Silver Fox Ted's invitation on a date, Hanna spins an insanely complicated lie involving Toby and fake dates and whatever madness, for no reason at all.
Spencer ignores Toby's endless prattle -- and exploration of different styles of acting -- to investigate "April Rose," but problems with the evidence in Garrett's murder investigation means bringing Jason into the fold, much to their father's consternation, and we learn a little bit more about the workings of the NAT Club. This episode is largely focused on Spencer's past relationship with Ali and present connection with Jason, but you also see how he's become, like, existentially dependent on blaming Garrett for the shambles her entire life totally is.
Predictably enough Ashley spends the entire party -- which is apparently also a dance? --talking about booze; also, because he wasn't hot enough already, the very wholesome and sweet Ted is a pastor, which on this show automatically means he is a closet Satanist molester who will end up doing some kind of monster bonfire spell on them in the woods. Meantime, though, Hanna talks her mom into dating the dude, and it's super sweet, but once Wilden shows up she bounces.
Aria and Ezra act utterly disgusting, and then she finds a shit-ton of cash in his sock drawer and immediately assumes the worst. Everybody has to do something interesting eventually, I guess. Between the microbrews and obscure Western cinema. Admirably, she confronts him about it almost immediately, and he explains that he sold an antique car or something. And once again, we see that a pissed-off Ezra is the most excellent possible Ezra.
Emily somehow ends up stuck in a Hopper painting after another flashback reveals the existence of diners or food or something. Time travel? No, a boy with a rave stamp on his wrist brought her to a diner to sober her up and wrote "I'm sorry I left you" on a placemat, and it's all very mysterious. Emily's life is like Baywatch Nights, just a completely different show that nobody knows about on this show. Not even Emily.
God, can you imagine being on a date with Toby? Can you imagine if that was the better option? Anyway, Dreamboat Holden's at the dance -- so he's still alive, that old ticker's still tockin' -- and he has the same wrist stamp as the boy in Emily's flashback, at which rave he also mentions seeing her "girlfriend" from time to time. She thinks he means Maya, but I sincerely hope he's talking about Paige and at some point we'll get to hear about her taking the brown acid and jumping off a roof into the swimming pool or something.
With Hanna trapped in the dark and abandoned church with a sexy and sinister Officer Josh, who accuses the Liars of conspiring with Garrett, Jason accompanies Spencer to the wildly spooky April Rose Antiques, where they find this random charm anklet that once belonged to Alison and turn it over to the police... Which gets Garrett's case thrown out! Spencer has a complete meltdown at this point, which only gets worse when a sherbet-slurping A texts her to confirm it: Garrett didn't kill either dead girl.
Next Week: A rents a room, a Ouija board calls Ali back from the dead, and the Liars go yell at Mona some more.
Possibly A put Garrett's mom in a coma so he could visit her in the coma and send messages to A. Possibly Caleb and Hanna broke up, sniff. Jason and Spencer tried to catch up on being siblings rather than just lifetime neighbors who grew up together, but possibly Jason had other stuff going on too. Possibly Emily was kidnapped by Jenna, or else just driven a short distance and dropped off before she was kidnapped by separate people, perhaps multiple or even dozens of times. During which tour of Rosewood she lost her jacket and ended up at Ali's empty grave. And Aria got a job as a photographer's assistant, because most professional photographers could probably use a lot of help and knowledge from Aria Montgomery, the world's best taker of photographs.
Spencer and Hanna troll through the hospital at top speed, under the impression that they're being sneaky.
Spencer: "Here's the deal. We are going to expose A by replacing his or her note on the coma lady with one of our own. It will lure him or her into the scariest possible place, and one of us will inevitably end up there alone -- probably you or me -- and get punched in the boob."
Hanna: "I have the perfect place for that. You know that church rummage sale that has somehow been going on for months like that city in Dhalgren?"
Spencer: "Great, so when Lucas shows up..."
Hanna: "It won't be Lucas! Just because he's started roofying everybody..."
Spencer: "And then got violent with Aria when he couldn't get the pills back? That he got from Mona in the insane asylum?"
Hanna: "Fine. Then I'll finish what I started that time in the boat."
Spencer: "Nice callback! Remember how moments ago you were so depressed you couldn't change out of your yoga pants?"
Hanna: "Traded 'em for fatigues."
Hanna produces a heretofore unknown ability to instantly copy anyone's handwriting, and we're good to go.
Hanna: "Mrs. Reynolds? Are you still in a coma?"
Coma Lady: "Yep."
Hanna: "Okay, I'm just going to slip this note into..."
Every alarm in the room or maybe the entire hospital or every hospital goes off immediately, and Mrs. Reynolds goes into some kind of arrest, because even in a coma you don't want Hanna Marin sneakin' up on ya. A car or a boat could come crashing through the wall at any time.