Pretty Little Liars
This Is A Dark Ride

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 6 USERS: A+
Your Wife, My Father

Meanwhile over at Boo Radley Institute For Dollmaking & Nurse-Dressing, Mona puts her skills to use and heads out into the night. What's she up to? I don't know, because the train is already moving. She'll end up with one of the Phantom masks in the end of the episode, but she's not on that train. Which is sad, because... Hanna keeps getting goosed by the Phantom of the Opera, and it is clearly not an accident, so she threatens to cut off his penis and he phantoms out of there. (But it is Caleb at this time. You can see his girl hair.)

Jenna, with an eyepatch: "Hey, Toby. Ready to feel weird about some stuff?"
Toby, covering her remaining eye: "You looked better with zero eyes."
Jenna: "No, they're finally, reluctantly getting used to the fact that I have eyeballs."

Jason: "Sistagirl! What you up to?"
Spencer: "Just running around on this train looking almost unbearably beautiful, with a veil and the whole thing, wind in my perfect hair, blue dress setting off my perfect skin. You?"
Jason: "I was just thinking about how I used to smoke marijuana."
Spencer: "Well, I'm glad you're back in town after the whole Cece Drake, hit and run bullshit..."
Jason: "Yeah, I was going to come say hey, but Garrett Reynolds was leaving your house and it was just too weird."
Spencer: "God, I just hate that guy for no reason."
Jason: "Just because he's free doesn't make him innocent."
Lucas: Mysterious look.
Jason: "I have to go."

Jason and Lucas head off into the train to do secret stuff. Spencer barely cares. In the other place, Adam Lambert is still singing. He sings so, so much in this.


Little Dead Girl: "Hey, I'm the ghost of a little girl that was murdered by her twin sister. Can I have some candy and also freak you out? I need to call my mom."
Ashley: "Can I drive you to your house where nobody's lived for a hundred years? And there's a hook on my door handle? Or maybe to a hospital that burned down?"
Little Dead Girl: "No, I'll just chill in your house and sneak around if that's okay."
Ashley: "I'm cool with letting you do whatever ghost stuff."


Hanna tries to kill the Phantom guy, but finally figures out that it's Caleb. So they make out a lot.

In the dining car, Adam Lambert stops by to say some words to Aria. I guess this is because we all secretly want to be Aria? And so this is like, "What if your fantasy of being Aria became even more amazing because Adam Lambert dropped by to make you feel so super special?" I can't say that would be my fantasy, but I know my sister for just one example would lose her fucking mind if this happened, so I can see why it's happening.

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Pretty Little Liars




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