Pretty Little Liars
This Is A Dark Ride

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 6 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Your Wife, My Father

Pastor Ted: "The only spirits of little girls I've seen tonight are the visages that haunt me, of all the children I have killed over the years as I move from town to town, posing as a mild-mannered silver fox."
Ashley: "No, this was like a super spooky little dead girl who was killed by her twin sister and wanted to make a phone call to another dimension on our landline. And now she is gone."

She's upstairs, sitting in a bedroom, being creepy.

Ashley: "I don't care how young or cute or dead you are, that's inappropriate in a stranger's home."
Little Dead Girl: "I called my mother. She answered the phone, but when I asked her to come and get me she got really upset and started to cry."
Ashley: "That's probably because she spent a long time trying to get over your death and you ruined it with your ghost phone calls. Also rude."
LDG: "I bet my sister told her I ran away. My sister's always telling lies, getting me in trouble. We're sisters, but we fight all the time over everything ... even our dolls. I think she just likes to fight. Do you think she told my mom something bad about me?"
Ashley: "By dolls, you mean my daughter and her friends, don't you? Hang on, I have to get my boyfriend. He's a priest. Well, kind of."
ibid.: "Pastor Ted? Could you get your hot ass on up here right away?"

But the little dead girl is gone! Leaving only a folded chenille throw!

GHOST TRAIN!

The Queen Doll Clown Nightmare Lady chases Spencer all through the train, after strangling her for a while. It's stylish and scary and looks amazing, but also: Just take off the mask, you idiots. This whole show is about how you don't know who the person or persons are that are constantly doing dirt to you, and you finally get the face right in your face? Take off the mask, jeez.

Oh, and Spencer finds the Burlap Babyface before this happens, so obviously Garrett is dead. But will he be On This Show Dead, where maybe he will just show up and we'll pretend like none of this ever happened, or will he be for-real, Ian Thomas, rotting-on-the-church floor dead? (Spoiler alert, the latter. He was lookin' too cute this week for the former.)

Anyway, Queen Doll eventually gets to Spencer and beats the shit out of her, and then Paige shows up and takes care of business. Which is important, you know, because Paige is like the only person Spencer has ever even half-ass apologized to, so she really needs to earn some points to hold over her head. Spencer is a fickle friend, but is even more a fickle enemy. Garrett was all, "You are the only person I harbor affection for in this world, no matter how horrible you have been to me," and Spencer was still like, "I should smack that kind, protective smile right off your beautiful face. How dare you."

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Pretty Little Liars

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