Pretty Little Liars
Through Many Dangers, Toils & Snares

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Emily's Reasons Why Not
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

PREVIOUSLY

After their therapist was abducted and impersonated by some boots, the Liars were arrested. On their way to rescuing Dr. Anne, however, lots of other stuff happened. We will review it, because it was a long time ago: Hanna was forced to ruin her dad's wedding, Emily was subjected to a near-death experience in yet another creepster barn, and Aria and Spencer both dumped their boyfriends. Most importantly, the immortal line was uttered, "We have five hours to obey our Chucky dolls."

Ella Montgomery was under the hilarious impression that Ezra dated/was dating Spencer, as though she wouldn't have instantly destroyed him at the root, and angrily told him to get out of Rosewood for his own good. He did not take this advice, because His Own Good is the number two thing that grosses Ezra out, right after Women His Own Age.

Meanwhile, a horrible blind girl and a gross police officer hissed and twined around themselves like a couple of ferrets or minks, and were implicated in the death of Alison and some, if not all, of the one million times the Liars have separately and jointly been framed, blackmailed, extorted, tortured, chased, manhandled and hit by cars.

ONE MONTH LATER GIVE OR TAKE

Where do creepy little girls come from, when the creepy little girls show up and start jumping rope? Nobody knows. Kubrick maybe. But they presage terrible things happening, at a slow pace. And sometimes they sing to you, sometimes very specific things that are also what is actually happening.

Pretty Little Liar all by yourself
Sneak to the park, dig in the dark
Telling little lies to make their mark...

The park, in this case, being some random wooded area that looks just like everywhere else in Rosewood.

Chain Gang She-Wolf #1: "Community service!"
Chain Gang She-Wolf #2: "Sometimes it seems like it will never end. I wonder how long those four very pretty girls are going to be doing community service?"
Chain Gang She-Wolf #1: "I heard they are almost done."
Chain Gang She-Wolf #2: "I heard they killed a person or found a mannequin wearing Tory Burches or ruined a memorial to a dead girl or threw a fashion show and Cthulu showed up. I hear there were these bracelets."
Chain Gang She-Wolf #1: "Those are some very interesting girls."

Emily: "Hey, everybody within earshot! I have a terrible plan and cryptic shit to say!"
Spencer: "Oh, no you don't."
Emily: "I can say anything I want! I am on HGH!"

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Pretty Little Liars

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