Anyway, Dad and jug-blowing hick wife and his horrible, awful daughter Kate will be moving to Rosewood. How come?
Ashley: "Just to fuck everything up. You know how this show works."
Mike: "Sorry I punched your statutory rapist! I just didn't want our dad to hit him, because it would make everything worse. Plus, I tend to act out to distract from the other problems in our family. You may have noticed."
Aria: "No, I was too busy drinking in bars and making out with strangers."
She escapes through his bedroom window and heads for Operation Fakeout, which is already in progress, because once again Emily's twinned issues of Being Punctual and Wandering Alone Into Scary Buildings are about to conspire against her.
Emily, To A Mysterious Shape: "I knew you'd be here. I knew I could depend on you. You listen to us. You're always listening. You know you made a mistake, don't you? It must be driving you crazy. You're afraid we found something, something in this box. Something about you. Do you want to know what we found? Do you want to see what you're afraid of?"
A: "Sure, show me what's in the box. What's in the box? What's in the boxxxxxxx?!"
Emily, with the manic smile of somebody who truly does not fucking get it, opens the box to reveal... Gwyneth Paltrow's head.
Emily: "Nothing! We found nothing. We lied to you, and you believed us. That was your mistake!"
Gwyneth Paltrow's Head: "Even I have more of a clue than you do, apparently. You better run, girl."
Emily kind of runs, but of course A beats the shit out of her.
Emily: "Paaaain creaaaaam!"
A continues to bounce her off the walls.
Emily: "Where are my stupid frieeeends!?"
A picks her up and throws her into a swimming pool full of fists. A jumps off something very high and lands on Emily's head. Everything is like Itchy & Scratchy.
Finally, the gals arrive and chase A... Right into the path of Hanna's car! THAT IS AWESOME! But A, being a ghost ninja, is unhurt and just limps off into the woods.
Even Hanna: "Did I just run over A? That is hilarious."
Spencer: "But A got away! I'll never kiss Toby again! We're still under indictment for lots of murders! Nothing actually changed! Nothing ever changes on this show! It is driving me even more nuts than I usually am!"