Pretty Little Liars

Episode Report Card
admin: B+ | 3 USERS: C+
Kiss and Tell

Previously: Aria hooked up with her teacher in the car, Hanna felt guilty about her mom having to prostitute herself to the cop, Spencer hooked up with her sister's fiancé, Det. Wilden was all uppity about MURDER, Hanna's son-of-a-preacher-man boyfriend wouldn't have sex with her, Maya flirted with Emily and Emily reacted by making out with her Neanderthal boyfriend in the school parking lot.

The foursome are in the woods, and totally not dressed for it. I mean, I know that when I go trekking into the woods poofy butterfly dresses and sparkly little flats are totally my choice for proper walking attire. Oh, and they have big giant purses with them. Emily's mom convinced her that they should do something together to remember their dearly departed friend. They complain that the gnats are attacking them as they head to "The Shed." Spencer tries to tell Hanna that her lipgloss and hair products are to blame for the bug attack, but they are all wearing gobs of makeup and have clearly done their hair. Even Emily, who is actually dressed the most appropriately in shorts and a tank with a thin button down shirt over it, still has her shiny, shampoo-commercial hair and Cover Girl fresh skin. Oh, and how many belts can Aria possibly wear? Today she's got two and an enormous bracelet... talk about over-accessorized. I think I'm going to start keeping count.

Anyway, just when they think they're lost, the anal-retentive Spencer spots a familiar tree and tells them there are exactly 136 steps left to the shed. Yeah, they all think she's a nutjob, too. They wonder if she's been out there since Alison died, and she claims she hasn't, but looks totally guilty about it. Hanna says it isn't weird that Spencer has this bizarre memory, because it was their go-to place after school in eighth grade. Regardless of whether she's been there or not, Spencer thinks that "The Shed" is not the appropriate place to build the shrine that Emily is so gung-ho about. Emily says it's just a place where they can remember Alison, and Spencer thinks it makes them look suspicious if they hide their shrine in the woods. Aria looks bored. Hanna stomps off.

The other girls are confused why Hanna doesn't have two cents to throw into this conversation, since it isn't like Hanna is exactly known for keeping her thoughts to herself. When they call her on it, she says that she doesn't want to build the shrine at all, until they know for sure that Alison is really dead. Um, what? Didn't they have a funeral for her? The rest of the girls look just as confused as I do at this point. Spencer reasons that they found her body, so she's dead... just in case Hanna maybe forgot about that little fact, but Hanna doesn't buy it. OK, then. Hanna says she's not totally cuckoo for cocoa puffs because when they left the funeral, they all got text messages from her. And before they (mostly Spencer) can really argue that those texts could be from anyone, Hanna says they've all gotten horrible notes about things that only Ali could know. Or a stalker, like that Toby guy in the tree who liked to watch the girls change or whatever. Just saying.

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Pretty Little Liars




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