BRIDESMAIDS

Mona: "This is the worst hillbilly bridesmaid's dress I've ever seen, your father is marrying a [quote] jug-blowing hayseed, your stepsister is going to have Confederate graveyard teeth, I am glamorous and your life sucks, the usual."
Stepsister Kate: "Hey, guys! I look and act totally weird. I am from soap operas, which does not completely explain it."
Mona: "OMG are you wearing the new Rebecca Minkoff?"
Kate: "Actually, I caught and skinned her myself."
Mona: "Hanna, you know how I'm obsessed with you and want to live inside your sweater with you?"
Hanna: "Yeah."
Mona: "Introduce me to your stepsister, hint hint!"
Kate: "Do you guys want to come have lunch later? And by 'lunch' what I mean is dress up in equestrian outfits that magically appear and then go riding around on horses instead of eating."
Mona: "THAT SOUNDS AMAZING KATE."

Hanna: "Fuck are you doing? The actuality of dealing with these people just got way too real. And you're not even hungry! You just ate an entire bowl of jellybeans!"
Mona, verbatim: "They were complimentary."

SPA OF TERROR

Nice Lady: "Emily, I can tell you're nervous about getting massaged, so here are some aromas. They are for therapy. Just lie facedown with this sheet over you and don't look up when I come back in here and start touching your naked body."

NANCIES DREW & THE CASE OF THE CREEPSTER YEARBOOK

Toby & Spence chucked a bunch of Adderall down their necks and scanned each and every yearbook in the entire house for more instances of the NAT. There are none. What there is, is a shirt that says Nos Animadverto Totus, which Spencer immediately recognizes due to her vast knowledge of the alphabet. This happens, although do understand that half the beauty is in the delivery:

Toby: "You took Latin, right?"
Spencer: "Yeah, and I got a five on my AP, but I don't remember any of it."

Toby: "We should use Bing. From Microsoft."
Spencer: "It's not a search engine, it's a decision engine."
Toby: "Those words have a discernible meaning when you put them together in that order."

Spencer: "I have already used Bing in the time it took you to open your mouth. Finding out the translation of this Latin phrase is just one of the many uses of Bing."
Toby: "What does Bing say it means? On your phone where you used Bing's very intuitive mobile interface?"
Spencer: "The Bing results came up so blindingly fast I nearly didn't believe them, but it turns out that NAT stands for WE SEE ALL. Wow, that's amazingly creepy."
Toby: "I just lost all of my boners."
Spencer: "We should look them up on Bing. By Microsoft."