OTHER BROCHURES, OTHER ROOMS
Therapy Anne: "Ella, hi! Dang, all us ladies on this show are so pretty. How is your crazy pretentious daughter?"
Ella: "Actually it's my suicidal son I'm worried about today. I love your snappy sexy new haircut, by the way."
Anne: "I'll give you some referrals. I prefer to specialize in large groups of young heathen girls that blind their foes."
Jackie: "Let's bring even more Hollis College brochures in from the car, Ezra! If I know teens, they love brochures even more than I do."
Aria: "BROCHURES? That DOES it. They are sleeping together, I just know it. Or else this is just a lame projection of my own guilt that will result in a bizarre blowout of disclosure about five minutes from now."
THE HURT LOCKER
Hanna: "Hey Emily, here's a gift certificate for a massage, since you're going to be recruited to the college of your choice."
Emily: "Cool, I'll just take off during College Fair since my admissions to Swim College are all but assured now that I can't swim and will soon get caught using HGH."
Hanna: "I'm going to get fitted for my bridesmaid's dress with Mona. You're not invited. Bye!"
Fickle Swim Team Girls: Walk right on by. Emily is no longer even visible to them.
Emily: Actually whimpers. Then she busts her locker open so awkwardly that shit flies everywhere.
Anne: "Emily, you look like dog vomit. On the inside, I mean. Are you having a bad day?"
Emily: "Lady, I am having the worst day. I have no friends and I don't fit in anywhere. Not with the lesbians, not with the jocks, and not with my usual PTSD friends. All I have to hang onto right now is this massage I'm going to get. I'm sure that will relax me in a healthy way."
Anne: "I'm not like a regular therapist, I'm a cool therapist. You could tell me anything, you could tell me that you were being stalked by a serial killer and several ghost ninjas, I would believe you."
Emily: "I have officially reached the point where I am willing to tell you about those things. Even if it makes me look crazy or get us both murdered, I must unburden myself."
Anne: "Great. Come by my office. And make it soon! I'm going to die immediately."
Toby: "It's always so dark in your house I can barely see all of Ian's pathetic belongings."
Spencer: "I'm just glad neither of us requires the College Fair, since you're a dropout contractor and I'm already a lawyer and a surgeon by correspondence. Besides, I'll either be dead or in the nuthatch way before that point."
Toby: "I would think College Fair would be like your Superbowl!"
Spencer: "Digging through Ian's shit is my Superbowl."
Toby: "Hey, Ian's yearbook. Let's sit down at peruse it at length just in case it contains a clue."
It: Contains a clue.
Spencer: "Why were Jason and Ian and Garrett all in a creepy made-up club together?"
Toby: "How do you know it's made up?"
Spencer: "I am in all the clubs. I was about to join Madrigals before I got ahold of myself. If there were an N.A.T. Club at Rosewood, I would be its president."
Toby: "What do you think N.A.T. stands for?"
Spencer: "I dunno, but I bet it has to do with molesting."