THERE WILL BE BROCHURES
Ezra's old students, with one notable exception, are: Ever so happy to see him. Since he's been gone for about a week, you can imagine the throng.
Ezra: "Hello, Miss Montgomery. May I [creepy schoolgirl innuendo] you in the [creepy schoolgirl innuendo] with my slippery [creepy schoolgirl innuendo]?"
Aria: "First tell me why you are in love with Jackie Morales!"
Ezra: "I am none of the above. Why are you schitzing out about this again?"
Aria: "I saw her! I SAW THE BROCHURES!"
Ezra: "I am getting tired of your shit. Maybe we should tell people we're dating, like we've decided to do in at least ten other episodes. Will that shut you up?"
Aria: "No, that's not the answer this time! Sometimes it just happens! Like when I kissed Jason DiLaurentis!"
Ezra: "...I have to go."
This next part is awesomely verbatim, because Jackie doesn't even know they were fighting about her: She just sends "EZ" out for more brochures and corners Aria and lays down a little smack.
Jackie: "College will be a great experience for you. It really helps you grow up. You'll look back and realize ... just how naïve you were."
Gauntlet thrown, my good sir.
Mona: "This is the worst hillbilly bridesmaid's dress I've ever seen, your father is marrying a [quote] jug-blowing hayseed, your stepsister is going to have Confederate graveyard teeth, I am glamorous and your life sucks, the usual."
Stepsister Kate: "Hey, guys! I look and act totally weird. I am from soap operas, which does not completely explain it."
Mona: "OMG are you wearing the new Rebecca Minkoff?"
Kate: "Actually, I caught and skinned her myself."
Mona: "Hanna, you know how I'm obsessed with you and want to live inside your sweater with you?"
Mona: "Introduce me to your stepsister, hint hint!"
Kate: "Do you guys want to come have lunch later? And by 'lunch' what I mean is dress up in equestrian outfits that magically appear and then go riding around on horses instead of eating."
Mona: "THAT SOUNDS AMAZING KATE."
Hanna: "Fuck are you doing? The actuality of dealing with these people just got way too real. And you're not even hungry! You just ate an entire bowl of jellybeans!"
Mona, verbatim: "They were complimentary."