Aria: "God, I needed this coffee. And to write this poem."
Jason: "Aw, g'wan. Can I sit down? To show that I am not creepy, I brought you all of these giant framed close-up pictures of you, sleeping. Or drugged."
Mona: "Even I am having trouble understanding how we went from having lunch in the city to wearing sudden jodhpurs and riding horses. Those are two different things."
Hanna: "Just roll with it, boo."
Kate: Is doing a number on them. She totally wants to make them feel weird and/or underprivileged, which is... The whole thing is hilarious because they are from Rosewood, a town that makes Creekside look like Compton. Has friends named Bitsy and Margeaux, which Hanna of course mispronounces.
Mona: Still rolling with it, decides to lie and say that she is a champion horse rider in the vain attempt to help Hanna and/or make new friends with weirdo Kate.
Mona & Hanna: Are left in the dust after making every single faux pas within a ten-mile radius their own.
SPA NIGHTMARES CONT'D.
Emily, to whoever is touching her naked body: "That feels great! Massages are the best. I feel so safe right now. You're really relaxing me. I can barely remember all the awful things that have been done to me and will surely be done to me again soon. Between this and my trip to the therapist where I'll finally tell her about the serial killer(s) and Mysterious A, I have a feeling today is going to be my best and most psychologically healthy day ever!"
Aria, for real: "These pictures of me are really beautiful!"
Jason: "That's Alison for ya. Every time you think she's gonna zig, she ends up drugging you and taking pictures of your face."
Aria: "Look, I'm sorry my friends and family keep breaking into your shit, but we've been through a lot collectively."
Jason: "I found the film and box under the floorboards of my dead sister's bedroom, so I understand the impulse. We DiLaurentises like to hide things and dig them up later. It's a symptom of being raised in unspeakable circumstances."
Aria, verbatim: "What else was in the box?"
Jason, verbatim: "Nothing special. Girl stuff."
Kinda says it all, doesn't it?:
Spencer: "Look over there, it's Aria talking to Jason. I have had enough of that girl's goddamn disobedience. It's clear I'm going to have to get somebody to tell her about him that she'll listen to."
Spencer: "No honey, Spencer is me."
Toby: "I don't know anybody scarier than... OMG, are you going to pretend to be A?"