Pretty Little Liars
Touched By An A-ngel

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
So Much For My Happy Ending

That's totally what I thought she was going to do, anyway. Just pull out the ol' Skinner box on some bitches and start using A to make people follow instructions better.

Hanna, stop hanging out with Mona Vanderwaal and bring up your GPA or I am going to run over you again. -- A

Aria, quit with the feathers or your baby brother gets it. -- A

WASP FOREST

Minutes later, Hanna and Mona have descended to cannibalism and begin gnawing on each other because their delicious horses ran away because they are both incompetent.

Hanna: "Did you even go to riding camp?"
Mona, verbatim: "Look, Hanna, the key to survival of any species is adaptability."
Hanna, verbatim: "When there's a nuclear war I guess it's going to be Mona and a million cockroaches."
Mona: "I will be their queen."

Hanna: "I can't help feeling like this was more about kissing Kate's ass than helping me."
Mona: "That's hurtful. Partially true, but hurtful. You know I would commit murder for you."

Mona wishes that Caleb would come back, because ever since he left Hanna's been acting like a total "crank." At first I thought we'd gone to a weird Secret Life place where that's a word people use, but then I realized that you can't have Mona call her a bitch -- even if it's the word she means and is clearly thinking -- because that's untakebackable, so: crank. The language of sisterhood.

SINISTER SPA

Nice Lady: "...Okay, ready for your massage?"

A tumbler on the side table has ice water in it, with A written in the ice water sweat. It is the scariest glass of water that has existed since a Tyrannosaurus Rex was cloned from its DNA that time.

Emily's Mind: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Emily's Phone: "You know how I predictably freak out every time you get close to telling Therapy Anne about me? Maybe you should think about that, because my hands were just totally around your neck. I am not fucking kidding. -- A"

Emily's Mouth: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

FITZ SHOWDOWN II

Spencer abruptly jumps into Ezra's car with him and slams the door. This scene is amazing because they are both good actors, because Spencer could create chemistry with a block of wood, and because Ezra has every reason to be terrified of her. Also the dialogue is outstanding, to wit:

Spencer: "Okay, there's something that I need to tell you. But before I tell you that, there's something else that I need to tell you."
Ezra: "...Okay?"
Spencer: "I know about you and Aria."
Ezra: "Excuse me?"
Spencer: "Ezra, you don't... Sorry. Mr. Fitz."
Ezra: "Better, thank you..."
Spencer: "Listen to me. Aria's in danger, okay, she's been hanging out with Jason DiLaurentis..."

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Pretty Little Liars

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