Ella: "That looks suspicious to me, I wonder if all those rumors were true. Spencer is kind of like a scary old man, after all. I can see it. I wish instead of Spencer that Ezra Fitz was dating me, though. I am having all kinds of thoughts. I'd better talk to my daughter about this. She never acts totally sketchy every time his name comes up."
DILAURENTIS KILLING FLOOR
Jason, literally: "Hey, that box of worthless female mementoes is in my crawlspace. Just come around here to the back of my house and I will show it to you."
Jason: "There is candy. Also a kitten."
Aria: "I think I will just wait here in broad daylight where I am visible from the street."
Jason: "You're such a jokester!"
YET ANOTHER UNLUCKY BARN
Hanna: "I'm sorry I yelled at you in the forest that time we almost died a minute ago. I am being a real crank. It's just that Kate and Bitsy and Margeaux are insufferable and make me feel weird about myself."
Mona: "You're wonderful! Don't ever let anybody make you feel that way. Except boys. Boys are our enemies. Let's hug for a really long time."
Hanna: "Seriously, I am freaking out. Family is stressful. Especially if you were raised by wolves, as I was."
Mona: "Honestly? Maybe you're not trying hard enough. People don't actually care about our bullshit as much as we usually think, because they are too messed up on their own stuff. I'm sure these girls are no different. I think they're magnificent, in fact."
Hanna: "There is not a person on this planet that tries harder than me, except maybe Samara and her lesbian friends. No, this is about Kate. This is about Kate and her whore mother and her bitch friends."
Mona: "You are aware of course that you're randomly broadcasting this to the entire country club? Look, an absurdly camouflaged microphone with the button pushed."
Hanna: "Oh, balls."
Kate, Bitsy & Margeaux: (Collective bitchy ice-storm breakdown; heel-pivot and exeunt.)
Hanna: "Kate, wait! I'm sorry I said that about your whore mother! And you and your bitch friends! I was just... Balls."
SURPRISE JENNA THING!
Spencer: "GAH! Jenna, what are you doing in my living room being all spooky?"
Jenna: "Your imaginary mother let me in. I am here to menace you about how you're digging around in shit that needs to not be dug around in."
Spencer: "I am predisposed to be defensive toward you."
Jenna: "I dig that? Even though I've never been anything but completely upfront with all of you monsters that blinded me. But seriously, listen up because this is going to get you and Toby in a world of hurt and there's not going to be anything I can do to help you. Back off the box or NAT Club or Jason Thing or whatever."
Spencer: "You are a brother raper."
Jenna, hurt: "...I think it's time for me to go. You are really shooting yourself in the foot with this."
Spencer: "Oh yeah? Well, you are really blinding yourself in the bitch."
Jenna: "Ugh, Spencer. Later."
Spencer: "Tell Garrett I said hi! And that I saw him touching your boobs in your living room!"