Tippi: "Hey, Boardshorts. Miss me?"
Hanna: "I'm worried about my mom."
Spencer: "Why? She was nowhere near Rosewood when this all went down."
OR WAS SHE
Ashley: "Oh nothing, just drinking in the dark in a business suit like you do."
Hanna: "Mom, by any chance did you come back to Rosewood for a minute and kill Wilden or anything like that?"
Ashley: "I didn't kill him. But that hardly matters, right? Because I'm going to get framed for it either way. I'd better put those shoes in a garbage bag and throw them away, but first I'm gonna turn off all the outdoor lights and turn on all the kitchen lights so that A can see me doing this as clearly as possible and hopefully document it from every angle."
Spencer: "Hanna's voicemail, I've had this bird in my bedroom for five seconds and I already wanna murder it. Come get this shit."
She dials and dials and dials and eventually realizes that the song Tippi keeps singing is a phone being dialed -- presumably, dozens of obsessive times by Alison when they were housemates -- and calls the girls over so they can call the number.
Meanwhile Jake visits Aria and they negotiate dating and it's very cute, because they are both very cute, and it is a conversation they need to have as openly and honestly as possible -- while at Emily's house, Paige is sick with worry about the race and the head trauma and the swimming on painkillers.
Emily: "It's not just about protecting you from A, which I know causes you to act out, but also about just kind of living in denial. You are a safe place, and I want to live in that world with you that we are talking about, and I am trying to keep that life clean."
Paige: "Get those puffy drapes over here, Fields. You need a housecall from Dr. Love."
The ladies call the number, and there is no answer because it is the middle of the night. But it's the only clue we're getting from the bird, whom A kidnaps exactly thirty seconds after that.
A sets a lovely table! Including a juicy-looking rotissereeeeagh! Tippi, no!
Oh, Tippi's fine. She's in her caaaaaaaaaagh! A, stop feeding that bird your chicken! That shit is disgusting! Double fakeout freakout! A chicken is also a bird, you monster!
Hanna mixes it up with Sean Faris as Ashley continues to live in denial about her situation; we meet a quote "creepy mask-maker who takes a shine to Emily" (WHAT AMAZING WORDS); Melissa returns just in time for Toby's whole momfest; Ella gets involved once A goes after Pam. I don't know what any of those things mean really, but don't they all sound great? I have spent all week wondering what A will do to Pam, and how on earth Ella can help. I mean, of course Ella can help, always bring in Ella, she fixes everything, but I just can't imagine how those three characters will coincide.