Pretty Little Liars
Under The Gun

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 43 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Unpleasantville

But then I woke up from the dream and went about my day because in this job, those dreams happen all the time, it's always about the minutiae of rescheduling Good Wife episodes around some bizarre awards ceremony, or moving characters from Bates Motel to Homeland, or whatever. Talking to Ryan Seacrest about whatever I've got going on in my life, getting his perspective on things. The best days are waking up from a dream where I am even more proficient with Excel than I am in real life, and/or can fly.

So when they brought out the news about this show, for a second I thought, "That meeting must have gone better than I imagined at the time," and then remembered that I am not a studio executive at ABC Family and I don't work for Alloy and the whole thing was just a work dream, and then I felt like something had been stolen from my sleep. Which is a hilarious dumb reaction -- like being mad at your boyfriend for something he did in your dream -- but it's banal; I only bring it up because Ravenswood is so mind-bending and reality-shaking that it seems like the one time that might actually have somehow happened. Maybe there are TV wizards out there, accidentally stealing my dreams about sexy teens in a small Pennsylvania town where every day is Halloween. Or maybe that fictional Ravenswood used my dreams to cross itself over into reality. That seems even more likely, tbh. But either way, what I was talking about in the dream does not come close to how beautiful this is, in practice.

Spencer: "They don't even have street signs here. This is like purgatory. Punishment and suffering that claims to be temporary, but never ends. Even the air feels different, transparent, like the world after it rains. Not lighter, just emptier. Everything smells like paper."

Nobody will look in their eyes; a mommy ushers her children away from them, while a man stares at them through the blinds of an old-timey door. Toby gets scared, and then they flat-out run their asses back to the car to get the fuck on out of there. A sudden pricking of the thumb sends dry leaves swirling; the ravens circle overhead in mockery.

QUAD

Emily is wearing a bizarre t-shirt that has a giant lipstick mark ("kiss kiss!") printed on it in leopard and the words WILD KISS!

Emily: "We need to talk, bitch."
Mona: "What is it now?"
Emily: "You tracked the RV, you spilled on Spence and Toby. To me that looks like you're still ahead of the rest of us. I want to know what you know."

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Pretty Little Liars

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