Liars: "It's not because you mentioned the Town Without Pity, and it's not that we hate you, but we all have other shit going on. The real truth is that we are meeting up later to figure out who's stalking all of us, but to 'protect' you we're going to lie about that and just fake it out. Hope that doesn't push you in a sociopathic rage or adrenalized state of hyperreality or anything."
Mona: "I am already in and made of those things, so don't worry about it."
FITZ'S FORMER PIED-A-TERROR
Liars: "I love how Ezra's entire bookshelf is like Tristan & Isolde and Abelard and Eloise and whatever Classics of doomed romance."
Aria: "Open up that armoire and it's just different film versions of Lolita, and like L.I.E. and Mysterious Skin and Wild Things. He really just has the two interests. The Prime Of Miss Jean Brodie. To Sir With Love: The Porn Parody."
Liars: "Please don't tell us about your boring rela..."
Aria: "-- I think we really broke up this time! I have to process! Hanna, we did it on that sleighbed! What Ezra calls 'the real way'!"
Hanna: "Yeah, Sean used to call it that too. It's how he stayed a technical virgin for so long."
SAVED BY THE BELLE
Caleb Text: "Mona has abducted me! To Brookhaven! We're trying on cute outfits, help!"
Hanna: "Well, shit. Ever notice how my burgeoning protective instincts mean I have to lie to everybody I care about, all the time?"
Liars: "It's either that or two Tory Burches and a drinking straw."
It's deceptively complex, but what happens next is that Spencer finds a branded ballpoint pen that leads them back to and explains that postcard, which leads to Duncan's story about flying Alison all over the eastern seaboard while she was being murdered, which now explains that -- this being A DAY and the season finale -- all the answers will be found in Room #1 at the Lost Woods Resort, which is the Bates Motel of Greenview, which is apparently the third and newest haunted town making up the Pennsylvania Rape Triangle.
Are easily found, thanks to Spencer and GPS, and after nearly running over a deer, they get to meet the Norman Bates of the Resort -- actually a scary motel -- who is a very cute dude named Harold, with a very paralyzed half-a-face, or what my visiting mother (girlfriend did not know what she was getting into) pointed out is called Shaman Face among the Native Americans. This is expected behavior. So I told her he was almost certainly going to be going on a shamanic journey into the shower to kill little naked girls before too long, which she found only moderately funny.*