Aria: "You know what would really set off these Tresemmé products is something round. A little tarnished, like an old teapot."
CeCe: "Jesus Christ. You couldn't shut it off if you tried, could you? What a horrible life."
Aria: "Wesley, go find a teapot. Or something tarnished. Like your academic career, or our dead best friend's virtue. Quick like an Instagram."

CeCe: "So, that's the tiny one. Is the big one just as hot?"
Aria: "I don't think of Wesley that way. And also, Ezra is if anything smaller, pound-for-pound. Ezra... Pound. I am hilarious. Thought Catalog, you missed a rocketship with this girl."
CeCe: "All I know is, you're pathetic. Why are you here taking teapot pictures on a Friday night, when most girls your age are being stalked around Rosewood by silent killers, or harassing their boyfriends into having coffee with estranged relatives, or taking grown-up doctors on pretend dates in other towns or across state lines?"
Aria: "My relationship is fine, CeCe Drake. Do you really think I'd be doing something particularly awesome if Ezra were still in town? Is that really how you see me rolling?"
CeCe: "But I mean, look at this hot piece. Are you that twisted by your dad's misdeeds that you're unable to find age-appropriate people attractive?"
Wesley: "I didn't find a teapot, but I did find some really cool stuff! Have you guys ever heard of Pogz?"

CeCe: "I'm going to go get dinner for all of us. I will be gone a make out amount of time. I haven't gotten to big-sister anybody into terrible decisions since I talked Alison DiLaurentis into pulling a train with Darren Wilden's entire fraternity and getting knocked up, and then murdered a bunch of times. I have missed this so much, you guys!"

POST-BREW

Hanna: "Yeah, this blows. Hey, can you just put this coffee in a to-go box?"
Server: "That is not how coffee works, Hanna Marin."
Uncle Jamie: "I'm here! Wolves don't understand the interstate."
Hanna: "I'm gonna take a piss."
Uncle Jamie: "That's a keeper right there."

DILAURENTIS HOUSE

Every horizontal surface on the entire front elevation of Jason's house is covered in thousands of bottles of booze. It's not the sudden-origami trick, but in terms of time and money spent it's similarly impressive.