Ezra: "Aria, why did you bring me one hundred bagels? Why are you smearing all of them while staring into space? Why do they have jalapeños? Are you mad?"
Aria: "No, I just completely forgot how breakfast works. Sometimes I do that, like, did you see this jumper I'm wearing? It's actually just a duvet from 1994 that I convinced to be a pastel jungle-print skirt, over a catsuit with black lace cap sleeves. Hey, do you have time to talk about that girl you knocked up that time?"
Ezra: "Sure, it's my favorite subject. Let's see. After my mother had Maggie hogtied and kidnapped to the Eastern Bloc, I tried really hard to find her. For me I mean, like, I sent her a message on Myspace and called her old number and asked this guy down the hall. After that it was right back to the PS2. You think I'm entitled now? Hoo boy."
Aria: "I don't know what any of those words mean. Myspace. PS2. Entitled. They sound made up."
Aria: "Anyway, why didn't you tell me about this, the most interesting thing to ever happen to you besides me?"
Ezra: "Pedo Tip Number 1, Don't scare off little girls with facts that put your age difference front and center. Why do you think I've cultivated this body of a middle-schooler? Adaptive camouflage."
Aria: "Yeah, when I saw you getting engaged on the Website Page of Jackie Morales -- a person who is your same age -- it made you seem really old for a second."
Ezra: "We've all got secrets. Look how long it took you to tell me that you blinded a girl. Or that you were being stalked by a hyperadrenalized ghost ninja."
Emily: "Do you actually have to pore over my dead girlfriend's Website Page at my place of employment? It's sorta distracting."
Hanna: "Speaking of distracting, look! It's Wren! Go away!"
Wren: "Haven't stopped by to see Mona in a while, huh?"
Hanna: "Yeah, between her not being important to the storyline right now and that time I kissed you, I've simply been quite busy."
Wren: "Oh my God, I'm so glad you brought that up. Are we in love?"
Hanna: "Look, I may or may not be with Caleb. And Spencer may or may not be with Toby. And you may or may not be a grown-ass man. The important thing is that you don't know any of this for sure."
Wren: "Then who am I supposed to maybe or maybe not date? Where do I fit into this scheme? Just kidding, I'm an adult with responsibilities. But if you ever want to hook up, or Spencer feels like getting drunk and doing flips on my furniture, you little ladies give Wren a call."