Prison Break

Babes Behind Bars! (And Michael's Not One of Them)

By Sobell | Aired on

The Final Break - Previously, on Prison Break: Everyone got a Get Out of Jail Free card and we fast-forwarded four years so that we could learn that Michael is now occupied with trying to break out of that Great Prison in the Sky.And...

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Mondo Extra	Babes Behind Bars! (And Michael's Not One of Them) The Final Break - Michael and Dr. Sara's honeymoon gets cut short by the underhanded machinations of assorted law enforcement entities, and Dr. Sara's new life behind bars is further complicated by hostile prison guards, a surprise reunion with an old frenemy, and Lori Petty.	2009.07.27	B	Sobell
Ep.	Title	Air/Pub'l	Grade	Author
4-22 Recap	Agent Kellerman -- Not Dead! Killing Your Number - The big baddie from seasons one and two returns as the show's resident deus ex machina, promising happy endings for you, and you, and -- not so fast there, beloved mainstay of the show. Also, the One World Conspiracy is taken out by the United Nations. Really.	2009.05.15 2009.05.21	A-	Sobell
4-21 Recap	It's All Over But the Monologuing Rate of Exchange - You can tell Prison Break is winding down because the bad guys spend as much time gassing on about their plans as they do waving guns around. Also, Michael rescues Dr. Sara in a very dramatic and highly implausible fashion, even for this show.	2009.05.15 2009.05.21	B	Sobell
4-20 Recap	It's Like Sophie's Choice, Only with More Beefcake Cowboys and Indians - After Michael manages to successfully steal Scylla away from Christina, both she and General Von Baldy manage to kidnap and/or wound people he really loves.	2009.05.08 2009.05.14	B	Sobell
4-19 Recap	Jacob Have I loved, Yet Esau I Have Hated … S.O.B. - Hey, remember how this show was about a guy who so loved his brother that he went to prison for him so's he could break them both out? Now Christina comes along to blow holes through the middle of that premise.	2009.05.01 2009.05.07	C-	Sobell
4-18 Recap	Medea Was on to Something Vs - Christina Scofield regrets having children, as they refuse to get shot by snipers and they sabotage her plans to kidnap and kill a scientist who could debunk her plans for eco-domination. On the flip side, Dr. Sara discovers she's going to be a mother.	2009.04.24 2009.04.30	B-	Sobell
4-17 Recap	Mama's Family The Mother Lode - A mother knows when her boys need a helping hand. Take Ma Scofield. She could let Linc expend valuable energy trying to get to the bottom of this Scylla business and possibly wreck her plans for a hostile takeover of The Company. Or she could tell him to cool it with promises of peace, love, and understanding in a post-General Von Baldy world. And if Linc doesn't listen? Well, she can always put a bullet in him.	2009.04.17 2009.04.23	C+	Mr. Sobell
4-16 Recap	Mother, Jugs and Speed The Sunshine State - The One World Conspiracy attempts to mess with Michael's head by dropping the news that his mom is still alive -- then they decide to lobotomize him if he won't play along. Meanwhile, Lincoln fends off Don Self's clumsy leadership attempts while he tracks down Scylla.	2008.12.22 2008.12.29	B-	Sobell
4-15 Recap	He Sees Dead People Going Under - Michael's surgery has him communing with the dead -- and the dead tell him to stay tuned for the BS plot contrivance that'll take us into the final third of the season. Meanwhile, Self manages to get Scylla stolen out from under him. OF COURSE.	2008.12.15 2008.12.22	B+	Sobell
4-14 Recap	The Brief Wondrous Life of Cole Pfeiffer Just Business - T-Bag has a Saul-to-Paul conversion courtesy of Gretchen's sister and a traveling salesman, but quickly gets beaten up for his troubles. Meanwhile, Michael and Lincoln try to outfox Don Self, which proves surprisingly difficult.	2008.12.08 2008.12.15	A-	Sobell
4-13 Recap	Happiness is a warm gun Deal or No Deal - And a lot of people get very happy this episode, as the assorted machinations of Don Self, the One World Conspiracy and the U.S. government double the season's body count overnight -- yet leave Michael and company strangely untouched.	2008.12.01 2008.12.08	A	Sobell
4-12 Recap	To Thine Own Self Be True Selfless - Team Scylla pulls off the impossible and manages to outwit the One World Conspiracy, only to discover that one of their numbers has a quite literal interpretation of the phrase "self-interested." Also, dishy Trisha reaches into her cleavage and pulls out some career skills, but it's an example of too little, too late. Skills, not cleavage.	2008.11.24 2008.12.01	A	Sobell
4-11 Recap	Bad Boys Eventually Get Quiet Time Quiet Riot - Team Scylla has to pull off the break-into-the-conspiracy HQ caper in total silence. They mostly manage it, too. Meanwhile, T-Bag and Gretchen eliminate a few obstacles on their way to riches.	2008.11.17 2008.11.24	B+	Sobell
4-10 Recap	Let Four Escaped Cons Bear Bellick … The Legend - and, for his passage/ convenient flashbacks and ret-conning/ Speak loudly for him/ Take up the (miraculously unbloated) body: such a sight as this/ Becomes the field, but here shows that this show has only a nodding acquaintance with plausibility.	2008.11.10 2008.11.17	B-	Sobell
4-9 Recap	Let the Water Wash Away Your Sins Greatness Achieved - Bellick redeems himself for four seasons of sniveling, conniving, bullying and coarse instincts. Mahone hopes to extract some Old Testament-style revenge on Agent Blots Out the Sun, but finds no way to wash away his pain. And finally, there is not enough water in the world to wash out the horrifying image of Gretchen macking on General Von Baldy.	2008.11.03 2008.11.10	B+	Sobell
4-8 Recap	Child Roland to Team Scylla Came... The Price - ...his word was "How much for Scofield and Burrows"/ yet he paid the price, much to his sorrow. (In other, less poetic news: the One World Conspiracy's on to Team Scylla.)	2008.10.20 2008.10.27	B+	Sobell
4-7 Recap	It's Hard Out There For A Linc … Five the Hard Way - When he's trying to get the data from the fifth cardholder, who may or may not be really into Sucre. Meanwhile, T-Bag attempts to settle a score with Michael, but loses the upper hand.	2008.10.06 2008.10.13	B+	Sobell
4-6 Recap	Ocean's Eleven, Meet the Scylla Seven Blow Out - When he's nabbed during a mission, Team Scylla must free Mahone from the pokey and Agent Blots Out the Sun. But who'll save T-Bag from corporate America and Gretchen?	2008.09.29 2008.10.06	B+	Sobell
4-5 Recap	Safe and Sound Safe and Sound - Team Scylla pulls off another caper -- this time in a Treasury Department safe -- while Mahone tracks down Agent Blots Out the Sun (hint: look for a localized eclipse) and Gretchen does her nails.	2008.09.22 2008.09.29	A-	Sobell
4-4 Recap	Undercover Brothers Eagles and Angels - When Linc and Michael infiltrate a policemen's gala to get the second Scylla key, they have to dress up like a couple of stone-cold cops. But cops don't mean squat when Agent Blots Out the Sun is getting closer to their operation.	2008.09.15 2008.09.22	B	Sobell
4-3 Recap	Shut Down Shut Down - Agent Blots Out the Sun debuts a novel new interrogation technique, and Team Scylla deals with wishy-washy feds, air deprivation and Bellick's top-flight whine sampler.	2008.09.08 2008.09.15	B+	Sobell
4-2 Recap	Half In The Bag Breaking and Entering - The first step in Operation Avoid Any Jail Time is to retrieve the Scylla data card. It involves Bellick and Mahone man-handling a purse -- but at least they now know how to accessorize.	2008.09.01 2008.09.08	B+	Sobell
4-1 Recap	The Gang's All Here Scylla - Michael reluctantly gets the gang back together. It's better than jail time.	2008.09.01 2008.09.05	B+	Sobell
3-13 Recap	Where The Wild Things Are The Art of the Deal - They're everywhere: inside Sona, on the outskirts of Sona, and tangling with Susan B.	2008.02.18 2008.02.23	A	Sobell
3-12 Recap	Somewhere In The Darkness Hell Or High Water - The inmates pull off an escape -- well, some of them do, anyway. This is even more remarkable when you consider that it requires a boat and the pilot (Sucre) is stuck at work.	2008.02.11 2008.02.17	A	Sobell
3-11 Recap	Roll Of Thunder, Hear My Cry Under And Out - A little rain accelerates Michael's escape plans, and a little pain whets both Lincoln and Whistler's motivations.	2008.02.04 2008.02.10	B+	Sobell
3-10 Recap	Out Of The Dust Dirt Nap - ...comes a solution to T-Bag's problems, a new milestone in Michael's moral development and the indication that we're about to shift into Act II for the season. Or perhaps Act III.	2008.01.21 2008.01.26	B	Sobell
3-9 Recap	A Girl Named Disaster Boxed In - Or named Susan B. Anthony. Or possibly Gretchen. Or, after this hour, The Little Mermaid, since she's soaking wet from her waterboarding. Also, Michael is soaking wet from being put in a redneck sauna.	2008.01.14 2008.01.20	B	Sobell
3-8 Recap	The Fool Of The World And The Flying Ship Bang & Burn - A lot of folks are in contention for the first title, but only two are in the running for the second object -- Whistler, and one very angry Michael Scofield.	2007.11.12 2007.11.19	A-	Sobell
3-7 Recap	The Whipping Boy Vamonos - Michael takes out some of his grief on Whistler; Linc takes out some of his issues with Susan B....out on her.	2007.11.05 2007.11.11	B	Sobell
3-6 Recap	The Higher Power Of Lucky Photo Finish - That is who Mahone needs to be praying to, as he's got a get-out-of-Sona card. Also, it wouldn't hurt the nearly-killed Whistler to start paying homage as well.	2007.11.05 2007.11.10	B-	Sobell
3-5 Recap	Up A Road Slowly Interference - Linc and Sofia look for places to park the getaway car; Michael looks for ways to make sure there's need for a getaway car.	2007.10.22 2007.10.28	B-	Sobell
3-4 Recap	Sarah, Plain And Tall Good Fences - Or, as pertains to this show, considerably shorter by a head and dead. Meanwhile, Scofield begins some of that crafty scheming we all know and love.	2007.10.08 2007.10.14	B-	Sobell
3-3 Recap	Teddy And His Telephone Call Waiting - Michael twists T-bag's remaining arm and gets a half hour on Lechero's mobile phone out of the deal. Linc tries to free his loved ones and earns Susan B. Anthony's wrath.	2007.09.31 2007.10.06	B+	Sobell
3-2 Recap	…And Now Miguel Fire/Water - Scofield and his mad engineering skillz prove useful -- and remind Mahone, T-Bag, and Bellick that being homicidally inclined is useful only 90 percent of the time.	2007.09.24 2007.09.30	B+	Sobell
3-1 Recap	Alexander And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day Orientación - Mahone has to go through withdrawal and killing yet another person as he saves a surly Scofield from certain death. Also, the One World Conspiracy finagles a way to justify Michael's second trip to prison.	2007.09.17 2007.09.23	A-	Sobell
2-22 Recap	Agent Kim -- dead! Also, many other conspiracy stooges! Sona - Yup -- Agent Kim is now working for the Conspiracy Invisible. Meanwhile, we have a maybe-death (Sucre's) and a death I have not yet begun to come to grips with (Kellerman's). Also, Michael ends up back behind bars. Enjoy your summers, everyone!	2007.04.02 2007.04.07	C+	Sobell
2-21 Recap	Yet ANOTHER hooker -- dead! Fin Del Camino - T-Bag may or may not have killed her -- but he is responsible for leading Michael directly into a trap set by the One World Conspiracy.	2007.03.26 2007.04.01	A	Sobell
2-20 Recap	Some poor Mexican hooker -- dead! Panama - Three guesses as to which unidextrous nut job killed her and the first two don't count. Meanwhile, the Fibbies miss catching Michael, but they get a small measure of satisfaction out of bagging his girlfriend.	2007.03.19 2007.03.25	B+	Sobell
2-19 Recap	Madame Evil's administration -- dead! Sweet Caroline - Our Conspiracist-In-Chief steps down after she's put between a rock and a hard place, also known as "Both Michael and Agent Kim threaten to disclose all the nasty little secrets she'd prefer to keep quiet." Meanwhile, Mahone messes with Dr. Sara's head.	2007.03.05 2007.03.10	B+	Sobell
2-18 Recap	Another innocent civilian -- dead! Wash - T-Bag kills his doppelganger, assumes his identity, and begins the long trek from 'Bama to Bangkok. Meanwhile, Michael & co. try to determine if the recording they have will exonerate Lincoln.	2007.02.26 2007.03.03	B	Sobell
2-17 Recap	Niedermeyer -- dead! Bad Blood - You realize I've been building up to this all year, right? Anyway, Pope reunites with the people who lost him his job, Sucre reunites with Maricruz, T-Bag reunites with the Alabama soil, and C-Note reunites with the penal system.	2007.02.19 2007.02.24	A-	Sobell
2-16 Recap	Haywire -- dead! Chicago - Mahone takes down another member of Team Escarpara (or maybe he merely does nothing to prevent another Team Escarpara member from going down) while Michael and Sara reunite.	2007.02.05 2007.02.10	A-	Sobell
2-15 Recap	Sasha's dad -- dead! The Message - Team Escarpara adds another body to the count. Meanwhile, Michael and Linc hold the airwaves hostage and Madame President Evil reaches out to her ex.	2007.01.29 2007.02.03	B	Sobell
2-14 Recap	Agent Von Blondie -- dead! John Doe - Mahone decides that it is okay to shoot the messenger. And in other plotlines, T-Bag makes himself a family, and the boys team up with Kellerman to kidnap Steadman.	2007.01.22 2007.01.27	B	Sobell
2-13 Recap	Denise -- dead! The Killing Box - Who is Denise and why should you care? Well, she's one of the two people T-Bag offs on his way to Susan's this week. Also, Michael and Linc do a lot of not-escaping right up to the end of the episode.	2006.11.27 2006.12.02	B	Sobell
2-12 Recap	Aldo Burrows -- dead! Disconnect - Michael and Aldo's reunion is acrimonious and awkward, so Aldo spares them all further social embarrassment by getting shot clean through the liver. Also, Bellick's on the hook for Roy's murder, and Kellerman gets an unnecessarily harsh job review from Agent Kim.	2006.11.20 2006.11.25	B-	Sobell
2-11 Recap	Geary -- dead! Bolshoi Booze - The unkillable T-Bag racks up another entry in the season two body count. Sucre saves Michael from an appearance as a recap headline, and Kellerman moves closer to making next week's blurb headline read "Dr. Sara -- dead!"	2006.11.13 2006.11.18	A-	Sobell
2-10 Recap	The Bozo Fetts' beautiful friendship -- dead! Rendezvous - Once they slap eyes on their ill-gotten millions, the Geary/Bellick partnership goes out like a light. Meanwhile, Michael and Sara have an awkward reunion, as do Lincoln and his dad.	2006.11.06 2006.11.11	B+	Sobell
2-9 Recap	Oscar Shales -- definitely dead! Unearthed - Michael manages to intuit in mere minutes what an entire FBI hasn't been able to figure out in years. Also, the only Team Escarpara member who doesn't have his plans go horribly awry is C-Note.	2006.10.30 2006.11.04	B	Sobell
2-8 Recap	An innocent civilian -- dead! Dead Fall - Dr. Sara continues to prove she's the anti-Veronica, Michael and Sucre compete in the escapee triathlon (running, biking, getting stuck underwater) and Linc engineers a fed-free reunion with L.J.	2006.10.23 2006.10.28	A-	Sobell
2-7 Recap	Tweener -- dead, yo! Buried - The little screw-up gets killed by Mahone following a near-solid hour of unexpected moral fortitude. Meanwhile, Dr. Sara gets sucked deeper into conspiracy when the One World Order offs her dad.	2006.10.02 2006.10.07	A	Sobell
2-6 Recap	Tweener's chance for a new life -- dead! Subdivision - The little screw-up gets apprehended by Mahone following a near-solid hour of screw-ups. Meanwhile, the rest of Team Escarpara inadvertently stumbles into an episode of The Red Shoe Diaries.	2006.09.25 2006.09.30	B+	Sobell
2-5 Recap	Road trip romance -- dead! Map 1213 - Tweener, T-Bag, and the brothers all meet up in Tooele. Sucre finds out that Maricruz is not worthy of his perfervid devotion. C-Note takes up some extra time.	2006.09.18 2006.09.23	B	Sobell
2-4 Recap	Abruzzi -- dead! First Down - Abruzzi meets Mahone -- and his maker -- in a motel parking lot. Michael learns that the woman you married as part of your prison escape plan isn't always the most trustworthy of souls.	2006.09.11 2006.09.16	B	Mr. Sobell
2-3 Recap	Michael and Lincoln -- not dead! Scan - Although they've now set up a car accident to make Mahone believe otherwise. Also, the writers push roughly four other plotlines into motion.	2006.09.04 2006.09.09	B	Sobell
2-2 Recap	Dr. Gudat -- dead! Otis - The man performs a medical miracle by reattaching T-Bag's hand, and the ungrateful patient offs him for his trouble. Also, Michael fails in his second prison breakout attempt.	2006.08.28 2006.09.02	B+	Sobell
2-1 Recap	Veronica -- dead! Manhunt - The season's first significant fatality is the overmatched girl sleuth. Fortunately, Team Escarpara seems to be doing better.	2006.08.21 2006.08.26	A	Sobell
1-22 Recap	He's handy in a tight spot Flight - Although nobody on Team Escarpara has died in this round of the escape attempt, they do end up down an appendage once the intra-team fighting breaks out.	2006.05.15 2006.05.20	B+	Sobell
1-21 Recap	Unready, Unsteady, Go Go - Team Escarpara takes off, and the escape is surprisingly glitch-free. That means only one probable fatality.	2006.05.08 2006.05.14	B+	Sobell
1-20 Recap	Ready, steady, go Tonight - Team Escarpara's timetable just got radically compressed, and the boys spend all day trying to put all the pieces together before that night, when they run.	2006.04.31 2006.05.07	B+	Sobell
1-19 Recap	Escaping from the prison of love The Key - After Dr. Sara correctly figures out that she got played by Michael and his wife, she not-breaks-up with him for real.	2006.04.24 2006.04.29	B	Sobell
1-18 Recap	Perhaps a new team captain? Bluff - Although Michael has a fruitful stay in the Whack Shack -- crafts to give Dr. Sara, tattoo sketches to take with him -- the rest of the team laps him in the productivity department.	2006.04.17 2006.04.22	B	Mr. Sobell
1-17 Recap	"You're a Waste of My Fries" J-Cat - Bellick decides to meddle in Tweener's social life after the inmate fails to deliver any dirt on Michael; Team Escarpara members take one for the team.	2006.04.10 2006.04.15	A-	Sobell
1-16 Recap	He ain't dead, 'cause he's my brother Brother's Keeper - A filler episode reveals that Madame Vice President and Mistress of Evil may have a lot in common with Michael. (No, not a tattoo.)	2006.04.03 2006.04.08	A-	Sobell
1-15 Recap	Whoever had "burn" in the office pool wins By The Skin And The Teeth - Michael gets yet another injury in his effort to scout out a new escape route.	2006.03.27 2006.04.01	B+	Sobell
1-14 Recap	The Best Laid Plans Of Rats And Men The Rat - After the elaborate escape plan falls apart, Michael's bid to break the electric chair fails.	2006.03.20 2006.03.24	B+	Sobell
1-13 Recap	The light you see at the end of the tunnel… End Of The Tunnel - …is just the rush from an oncoming train. Or so it seems to Michael as he copes with more setbacks.	2005.11.28 2005.12.04	B-	Sobell
1-12 Recap	Well, now you've done it, T-Bag Odd Man Out - The would-be cotillion king ends up making the escape plan more complicated while trying to simplify it.	2005.11.21 2005.11.25	B+	Sobell
1-11 Recap	Kellerman! Baby! Come back! All is forgiven! And Then There Were 7 - Quinn's tenure as Magnificent Bastard looks like it's over, and our favorite SS agent's back on top. Also: Westmoreland decides to go on prison break with the boys after all.	2005.11.14 2005.11.19	B+	Sobell
1-10 Recap	Score one for the Darwinists Sleight Of Hand - All Michael's posturing over Fibonacci turns out to have been a big fat bluff, and C-Note recruits himself for Team Escarpara.	2005.11.07 2005.11.12	B-	Sobell
1-9 Recap	T-Bag's twitterpated for Tweener Tweener - Having driven Seth to suicide, T-Bag sets his sights on a new inmate. Michael decides to put a stop to it.	2005.10.31 2005.11.05	B	Sobell
1-8 Recap	Linc gets his kicks on Rt. 66 The Old Head - Won't he get hip to this timely tip, when he makes his prison break trip? And get his kicks on Rt. 66, which passes beneath the prison.	2005.10.24 2005.10.29	B	Sobell
1-7 Recap	Well, look what you've done now, Michael Riots, Drills And The Devil, Part II - The riot continues, the body count rises, and a wall comes tumbling down.	2005.10.03 2005.10.07	B+	Sobell
1-6 Recap	Unquiet riot Riots, Drills And The Devil, Part I - Bellick goads the prisoners into rioting, with nasty results for a rookie CO.	2005.09.26 2005.10.01	B+	Sobell
1-5 Recap	It's so hard to find good conspiracy participants English, Fitz Or Percy - The world's most baffling conspiracy soldiers on, trying to separate Michael and Linc. They are not successful.	2005.09.19 2005.09.21	B+	Sobell
1-4 Recap	Wire Transfer Cute Poison - Michael needs to figure out a way to get Haywire out of his life. Sucre needs to figure out a way to get Maricruz back in his. As luck would have it, their interests seem to converge.	2005.09.12 2005.09.16	B	Joe R
1-3 Recap	Cellular Degeneration Cell Test - Things get even worse for Michael, as he pisses off Sucre and gets stuck with a new cellmate who never sleeps. In other news, Leticia is murdered, and Sebastian dumps Veronica. Well, at least things are looking up for Sebastian.	2005.09.05 2005.09.10	B+	LTG
1-2 Recap	Missing The Corner Pocket Shot Allen - For about ten minutes, Michael agrees to be someone’s prison bitch. Then a prison riot derails that bad idea.	2005.08.29 2005.09.03	A	Sobell
1-1 Recap	He is a man of constant smirking Pilot - Michael's been planning, all this time / to bid farewell to life on the outside / and free his brother, who committed no crime.	2005.08.29 2005.09.01	A	Sobell

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