Prison Break
And Then There Were 7

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Kellerman! Baby! Come back! All is forgiven!

Commercials. As much as I used to like Fresca, the idea that the fizzing sensation I enjoy is actually the snap, crackle, and pop of tiny pixies exploding in my mouth is kind of off-putting.

When we get back, we meet Mrs. Scofield from the back. Bellick is busy leering at the front. Unsurprising, that. The lady guard clears Mrs. Scofield for entry and she walks on by without a word. Bellick picks his jaw up, wipes off the drool, and asks the lady guard if the missus looks familiar. The guard's like, I'm sorry, but I'm not into gonzo porn like you. So the answer to your question is '"no." Bellick is left to leer all by his lonesome.

Michael's prepping for love by...staring out the window. The missus comes in. From the depths of the couch, the husband asks, "When did Tia Carrere become a hooker?" "When did she acquire the eastern European accent?" I reply. Anyway, the missus -- Nika -- has a wall of curly hair and a lot of impressively-applied eyeliner. She is not whom Dr. Tancredi would have imagined as Michael's type. The two then proceed to greet each other in a way that makes Ethan and Zeena Frome look like Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton. Nika tells him she's now gainfully employed. Michael's pleased to hear that. She asks if it's awful being in prison and he puts on the flirty face before replying, "Remember the first place you stayed? That hotel by the airport? The only difference is $69 and the free shampoo." Well, AAA will take away Fox River's diamond rating for sure. Nika sees right through Michael with, "Always the brave face." She puts a consoling hand on his arm, and Michael notices that she's still wearing her ring. Nika tells him she wears it daily, and asks if she can do anything above and beyond what they agreed on. Michael thinks not. So Nika whips a credit card out of her cleavage. I really don't want to know where she's storing her driver's license and Jewel card, do I? She asks him, "Why would you need a credit card in prison?" Hey, C-Note ain't cheap.

Meanwhile, Dr. Sara and Nurse Gossipson are sauntering down the stairs. Sara's sighing that the lesson the Illinois state government took away from the riots was "cut prison funding down to the bone." Nurse Gossipson suggests, "He may be the governor, but he's also your father. Maybe he thinks if he cuts enough, they can't afford you." She wanders off, the better to leave Sara alone and standing riiiiiiiight where she can see Michael kissing Nika on the cheek and hugging her goodbye. Cut back to Sara, who's staring blankly in surprise. She rushes off before Nika catches her eye. I know someone who's about to drop a whole prescription pad full of MS+ST doodles right in the biohazard waste bin!

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Prison Break

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