It's crafts time in the Whack Shack, where Michael is busily working on something at a table, keeping one eye on Haywire and the other on the guards. When the guards take a well-timed powder -- Fox River Prison: We Never Let Down Our Guard Except for When We Do -- Michael beats feet over to Haywire and begins to lead him away. Haywire understandably wants to know where he's being led off to; "It's a surprise," Michael replies. And boy howdy, is it ever -- I'd say being shoved into a supply closet and forced to vomit is the very definition of a surprise, though not exactly a pleasant one (for Haywire or the home viewer). I guess the craft Michael was working on was ipecac. But at least that nasty pill is out of Haywire and shimmering with the other contents of his stomach on the supply closet floor.
Linc is lounging about in solitary when a guard informs him that he's got a phone call -- it's L.J. and it's an emergency. That rouses Linc out of his stupor -- or, since this is Dominic Purcell, into a less noticeable state of stupor than we're accustomed to seeing. L.J. is not exactly a ray of sunshine over the phone: "I don't care what happens to me anymore, okay? They won. They'll always win. I just wanted to take one of them down with me." And a bang-up job you did, too, there, kid -- Kellerman must have gone through two, maybe three dish towels stopping the bleeding from that surface wound you inflicted on him.
Linc decides he'd rather talk to Veronica, which really isn't an endorsement of L.J.'s conversational skills. "Lincoln?" she says. "No -- the Birdman of Alcatraz," he replies. "Who do you think it is, Professor?" Or maybe he just asks her what the charges against his no-account son are. Attempted murder -- as the great Sideshow Bob once observed, do they give out a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? Oh, and also the murder of L.J.'s mother and stepfather that the feds have so thoughtfully framed the li'l scamp for.
"I guess bail is out of the question," Linc says, marking the first time in recorded history that Veronica is the legal eagle in a conversation about the law. Veronica posits that the only chance L.J. has is to get tried as a minor, and that he needs to show some remorse. Considering the fact that she's delivering this theory to one of her most recent clients while he sits on Death Row, I'm thinking L.J. might want to make a call to the public defender's office, just to see if there's some intern hanging around who might want to handle his case. L.J.'s apparently thinking the same thing, as Veronica complains that he won't listen to her. "He'll listen to me," Linc says, adding, "If he gets tried as an adult, he may as well sit on my lap in the chair." Well, the family that fries together… Veronica offers to petition the Department of Corrections, cheerfully adding that "it's a million-to-one shot that they'll let you out to see him." Which means it will happen, since the opposite of everything Veronica says comes true.
The Music of Impending Gang Violence plays, which is Fox's signal that it's time for America to watch black people talking. Specifically, C-Note is telling his associates to round up all his savings, as there's this nice little property back in the cellblock that he has his eye on.