Prison Break

Episode Report Card
Mr. Sobell: B- | 1 USERS: A+
Perhaps a new team captain?

After the commercial break tries to convince us that Taco Bell's Value Menu fills you with "great taste" as opposed to "horrible, distending gasses," Haywire is getting his fill of the goofy pills, much to Michael's visible displeasure. Michael signs the weary sigh of a man who has to go and make someone else upchuck…until he walks into the supply closet to find Haywire doing the deed himself. "You were right," Haywire says. "The pills don't let me see the pathway." So have Michael teach you that trick where you only pretend to swallow them, my man -- I'm trying to enjoy some snack cakes here.

Haywire's sudden insight is Michael's cue to start stripping and posing for Uncle Crazy. "It's a pathway to hell," Haywire concludes. "It's just the opposite," Michael reassures him. Haywire ogles Michael a bit longer -- save it for your LiveJournal, dude -- and has his epiphany. "I remember," he says.

A visibly bruised C-Note limps over to Westmoreland and T-Bag in the cafeteria. "Looks like the Bank of Africa wasn't allowing any withdrawals," T-Bag says. Well, it's all those Nigerian businessman, generously sharing their bounty with us American emailers, obviously -- there's been a run on funds. C-Note concludes that Team Escarpara will have to find another way to raise the necessary funds. T-Bag suggests that this would be a task best left to the member of the group who may in fact be a notorious skyjacker, while staring pointedly at Westmoreland. "A) I'm not D.B. Cooper," says Westmoreland, none too convincingly. "And B) there's no visitation today, which means none of us can get any money from the outside world." The problem having been spelled out in painful detail for those of us at home, T-Bag offers up a possible solution: "The kitchen game." No, not Iron Chef. Besides, the only prize there is the honor of humiliating Bobby Flay. What T-Bag has in mind is the high-stakes poker game conducted in the prison kitchen. "When I play cards, it ain't gambling," T-Bag boasts. "There's maybe five people in this country that can do what I do with a deck of cards." Westmoreland speaks for all of us when he wonders why T-Bag waited until now to bring it up. Because it wasn't germane to the plot up until this point, would be my guess. ["Or that the writers hadn't had the opportunity to rip it off of Lost yet." -- Sars] Though T-Bag's explanation is that, up until now, he preferred not to be sliced, diced, and julienned should anyone catch him cheating. What's more, Team Escarpara needs $50 for the buy-in, which it decidedly does not have -- though, judging by that look on Westmoreland's face, he seems to have a pretty good idea of how to get it.

In the Whack Shack, Michael and Haywire are recreating the scene from Titanic where Leo DiCaprio sketches Kate Winslet. Only without the Celine Dion soundtrack. And the sex. Presumably. Haywire is a bit thrown by the fact that a large chunk of the tattoo -- not to mention Michael's shoulder blade -- has gone missing. "That's why I need you to fix it. That's why I need you to remember what was there before," Michael says with growing urgency. Haywire responds with some mumbo-jumbo about how you can't break a path because it doesn't lead anywhere. Michael suggests to him that he do a little less freaking out and a lot more remembering. At this particular point, Haywire is not up to the challenge.

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Prison Break




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