Prison Break
Prison Break

Episode Report Card
Sobell: A- | 791 USERS: C+
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He ain't dead, 'cause he's my brother

Michael says he'll visit the same time tomorrow, and that's when Linc drops the news that he's about to be transferred to Fox River. Whirrr! Be very quiet -- it's the sound of backstory machinery whirring along.

Commercials. So what is the most inadvertently hilarious element of The Sentinel -- the manly hoarse-off between the voices of Kiefer Sutherland and Michael Douglas, or Eva Longoria trying to play the role of a Secret Service agent? No, wait -- there's something even more inadvertently hilarious about this commercial block: it features recruitment ads for the U.S. military. Right after the segment suggesting that the same military is fond of punishing those who insist it, you know, not torture people for the hell of it. Well done again, media buyers!

When we get back from commercials, a woman named Susan is bustling around getting ready for dinner. She tells the kids to set an extra place because Mommy's friend is coming home from dinner. The boy lips off, "Again?" and the girl sees a chance to score points with her mom by helpfully piping up that she likes Mommy's friend. Susan directs the kids to be extra polite because Mommy's friend is stopping by Malarkey's on the way from work and bringing dinner. And there he is now. Susan opens the door…

…and it turns out Mommy's friend is T-Bag. He smiles almost shyly, as if nervous, and says, "Evenin', Miss Hollander. Don't you look lovely this evenin'."

Back at the office of the future, Michael is stealing the Fox River blueprints of the past.

Sucre is hanging out with his cousins on a back stoop. It's still snowy. I have no sense of how much time has elapsed in any of these developments, and it's irritating me, because now Sucre's talking about proposing to Maricruz and I am quite curious to know if this has been a whirlwind courtship or if he's gotten into a routine of knocking over convenience stores for dates or what. Anyway, Hector the underminer wants to know when Sucre will propose. Sucre says, "As soon as I can afford the ring," and Hector snarks, "So what is that -- ten, twenty years." You know, if I didn't think Hector was so incredibly odious, I'd have some grudging admiration for his patience and the deft, bloodless way in which he manipulates his cousin. Sucre wants to know why Hector can't be happy for him, and Hector insincerely protests that he's just trying to protect Sucre from the moment when Maricruz flips on the easy-listening station and realizes she is not, in fact, getting tired of her high-class toys and all her presents from her uptown boys. Captain Calories hops in and asks, "How you gonna afford a ring for a girl like that?"

Prison Break

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