Prison Break
Cowboys and Indians

Episode Report Card
Sobell: B | Grade It Now!
It's Like Sophie's Choice, Only with More Beefcake

And that is how that bank in Miami gets held up by three ski-mask-wearing guys who decline to take the fat wad of cash Christina's holding and carry off the wee Scylla case instead. And then STUPID LINC has to go and say, "Hi, Mom" at the end of it. That tips of Slick, who promptly calls his goons on the outside.

Meanwhile, guess what's finally washed ashore? It's Don Self, and he looks to have broken some bones in a seriously gross way. As a well-meaning kid runs off to call 911, Don Self frantically gasps for him not to call anyone. Oh, dammit. I was kind of hoping for a pointless death to cap off Don Self's pointless character, but it looks like we're stuck with him for at least another episode.

Back at the loft, T-Bag is pouring poison in General Von Baldy's ear, raising doubts as to the purity of Michael's motives. Naturally, he does not mention that the moment Michael decides to screw over General Von Baldy, it will be a race to see who can shove Scylla up Michael's special place for safekeeping until they can frogmarch the guy back to the General. Seriously: you think Mahone is going to let Michael do anything that jeopardizes Pam? Or that Linc would let Michael do anything that jeopardizes LJ? But it's not in T-Bag's best interests to point this out, because then it would impede his vendetta against Michael. So he points out that "Scofield, he thinks pure like a little Cub Scout. Burrows, he just thinks like a cub." The General turns around, and says, "He's right," in a tone that conveys Who would have thought this sinister inbred was capable of incisive insight? He continues, "I don't feel comfortable having Scofield out there with something I want while I'm stuck here with nothing he wants." And that is how T-Bag manages to a) introduce the idea of kidnapping Dr. Sara from the condo (remember: the location will be in the GPS of Mahone's vehicle, from his trip earlier in the episode) and b) get the go-ahead for the doctornapping.

Let's see how Mahone and the Brothers McSullen are doing. Answer: not well. Mahone and Linc are engaged in a firefight with Christina's goons while Michael and Scylla run off. Linc sends the other two on their ways with Scylla and stays behind to shoot his gun until it's out of bullets. We get a shot of him rolling his eyes and wishing he could re-deliver his monologue about how he can't beat the odds anymore. It doesn't look good for Linc, is what the deal is.

Okay: hands up, all of you who never tire of seeing Dr. Sara get taken down by someone physically, then tied up and/or abducted. No? Nobody? You mean I'm not the only one who tires of the good doctor being in perpetual peril? Who occasionally thinks, Holy gawow, this is the quite possibly the only person in America whose life was safer and happier when she was a morphine addict? Good. Because since we're all Over This, I can just sum up this scene in a few sentences: FOX News has already dragged out the talking heads to issue ill-informed blanket condemnations (at last! Some semblance of verisimilitude regarding how that operation does things!), Dr. Sara is watching the news, and then Dr. Sara is subdued by a wiry man with one arm who manages to persuade her that really, she should be used to being tied up in this apartment by now.

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Prison Break




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