Commercials. So am I to understand that someone dramatized and serialized the Cannonball Run movies, then called it Drive? Will we at least get blooper reels after each episode? I would love to see Nathan Fillion say, "These bleeds right here?" while everyone laughs. Please?
So how fitting that we go from Fox's new auto/erotic series to Michael getting out of the now-wrecked stolen car. As he goes to check on the punctured Sucre, another car screeches over to the side of the road to see if everything's okay. (Quick answer: no.) Michael screams in Spanish for the guy to call an ambulance, then resumes inspecting the prodigiously bleeding Sucre. Naturally, this is when the uninjured T-Bag manages to sidle out of the car, grab his ill-gotten millions, and sprint off. Of course. Every bodily insult only serves to amplify T-Bag's supernatural powers, doesn't it?
In that special, gasping voice reserved for television's hyperarticulate injured people, Sucre urges Michael to sprint after T-Bag and the money. So Michael urges the guy by the side of the road to come on down and resume direct pressure on Sucre's sucking abdominal wound, then sprints off after T-Bag and the money.
A chase scene ensues. The guys run through what seems like four different biomes before finally ending up on the usual haunt: the well-stocked-yet-deserted cabin in a clearing by a lake. T-Bag gets there first, then grabs a conveniently-in-view knife. Michael comes in, and T-Bag waves it at him.
Then T-Bag asks, "What exactly is it that you want, pretty?" Perhaps he would like it if you called him something else. I'm just spitballing here. Michael closes the door and tells T-Bag he's turning him in. T-Bag is like, "Really?" Then he collects himself and says, "It isn't about the money? 'Cause if it is, you can tell me. Ain't nobody here but us cons." Michael says, "You can walk or get dragged. But it's up to you." T-Bag notes that it's really up to the better-armed person in this little debate: "So I'm going to spell out the present options. Either we split this money and you can go get your legs tattooed or whatever the hell it is you want, or they'll find your corpse slumped over that there chair with your pants down around your ankles, 'cause it's been a looooooooong time coming, pretty." Michael just gives him a look like, I'm armed with the Blue Steel. What else do I need?