Back at the shack, Nika calls out to Bellick that if that offer to watch her tinkle was made in good faith, then she's about ready to take him up on that. "Again?" Bellick snorts disgustedly. "I have a small bladder," Nika says. "That ain't all you got," Bellick retorts. I suppose, in Bellick's ape brain, that's what counts as suggestive banter. Yeah, baby, you know what else you got? A pair of kidneys that play a crucial role in regulating electrolytes in human blood. And you've got a renal pelvis that connects to the ureters, which carry urine to that small bladder of yours. Yes, the human urinary system is a fascinating -- and sexy -- thing. Anyhow, it's off to the back room for Nika, who reveals that she didn't have to go tinkle at all. "They plan to trap you," Nika says. "The big one. He's got friends in Utah, criminals. A town called Panguitch -- they grow drugs on a farm. They'll tell you that's where the money is, but no money, just old friends with guns, waiting for you." Bellick decides that Panguitch, Utah, does not sound like a very nice place to visit, and demands to know where the money's really stashed. Uh uh uh, my greasy lothario -- first up: Nika's share of the filthy lucre, then we'll talk location. "If it wasn't for me, you'd be face-down in a marijuana farm," she reminds him. Hey, I had several friends in college who might have thought that sounded like a hell of a nice way to spend a weekend. Nika proposes that she now get a third of the loot; Bellick counters that she's going to have to give up more than just information if you get his drift, and if you don't, he helpful spells it out for you: "A piece of that can anytime I want it." Nika is surprisingly open to this proposal, which Bellick finds as stunning as I do. "I've slept with men for a lot less, trust me," she says. "What happened to 'Never in a thousand years?'" Bellick wonders. "That was negotiating," Nika says. And you can read all about it in Jack Welch's next book, Giving Up That Can of Yours to Get to Yes. And if that's not enough to put you off your next meal, Nika and Bellick seal their illicit arrangement with a sloppy kiss. While the commercials play, I'm off to pour bleach into my eye sockets.
Episode Report CardMr. Sobell: B | 524 USERS: C+
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