Sobell here. Where am I? What's going on? Why am I looking at T-Bag driving a station wagon past a dewy teenaged girl and glaring menacingly? Is this your idea of romance, mister? Because if it is I am going to be very suspicious of the next trip you propose, and -- oh, wait. We're back at the pie scene. Never mind. How hilarious is Kellerman, all falsetto with the "Mmm, that's good pie?" And now her mobile phone's ringing, and it's Michael, and he wants to talk.

And boy, is he pulling out the stops with the teary, "Please don't hang up on me." Remembering the first few chapters of Don't Parole Him Into Your Heart, Dr. Sara is adamant that she doesn't want to talk to Michael. However, she does not hang up. So Michael forges ahead and stammers, "I heard about... I heard about what happened." Dr. Sara looks agitated, and this catches Kellerman's attention. It is great watching his mask drop and the watchful opportunist emerge.

On the other end of the phone, Michael sob-whispers that he's sorry for everything. Yeah, that'll keep Dr. Sara warm on those long nights in cellblock D. She more or less points that out. Go, Dr. Sara! All you need to re-read Don't Do Time in the Prison of Love. And TAKE NOTES. Michael skips over the whole my-life-is-torpedoed point and does Dr. Sara the big, big favor of telling her, "Anyone with ties to me and my brother is in danger now." Dr. Sara says coldly, "I have no ties to your and your brother any more." Hey -- maybe she did take notes. Michael again ignores Dr. Sara and sob-whispers, "There's a way I can protect you. It's already in your possession." She gets agitated and demands to know what Michael's talking about. I get agitated and wonder if maybe it's time for Dr. Sara to check her Amazon.com recommendations for Romantic Recidivism: How YOU Can Prevent It. She's going to need it with Michael pleading, "It was real, Sara -- you and me. It's real." Dr. Sara sort of gapes. We see that Nika has been eavesdropping shamelessly, and she's now got a sort of disgusted smirk on her face. And then Michael pulls a total dick move and hangs up. Dr. Sara is left there to fume silently. I am left to wonder if maybe, after Linc and Michael free L.J. from the pokey, they'll have to criss-cross back to liberate Dr. Sara from whatever women's prison she's off having pillow fights in. I can see it now...