Prison Break
First Down

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Mr. Sobell: B- | Grade It Now!
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Abruzzi -- dead!

Over in the Young Morons in Love section of this episode, Debra Jean is on the phone talking to a party as of yet unknown. "I don't know about 20 miles from Gunnison," she says to the party on the other end of the cell phone, before spotting young Tweener emerging from the bushes. "He's coming. I gotta go." Say! Sounds like someone's plotting someone else's post-prison breakout capture -- a possibility that only seems more likely when Debra Jean insists on stopping at the next motel. "It's only 4 o'clock," protests Tweener, who understandably wants to keep on moving. "Yeah, but we've been driving forever," Debra Jean replies, turning down Tweener's gallant offer to drive tersely. "I really just want to stop... it's my car, and I'm tired of being in it." Which wouldn't seem like such a suspicious exchange if we didn't immediately cut to...

Mahone and his help-mate Lang talking about a phone call that just came in. "Can you believe it?" Agent Mahone says, walking so quickly he's off camera by the time it took me to type this sentence. "Of all the players in this thing, it's the rat that can give us our first collar." Things are not looking good for the burgeoning bond of trust growing 'twixt Tweener and Debra Jean.

Nika emerges from the backroom of the shack with a haunted look on her face -- being propositioned by Bellick will drain the color from a gal's face, I guess. Bellick earns further marks against his hosting skills when he tells Michael and Linc to hold it if they need to heed nature's call. "If you need to tinkle, Sweet Pea," he coos at Nika, "I'll watch you any time." Ever get the feeling that a stroll through the Recently Browsed Pages section of Bellick's Web browser would expose you to a series of things you wish you could immediately un-see? Seriously, is there an unconventional sexual practice he's not into? Jell-o wrestling? Smurf role-playing? Marital aide juggling? We get it, Prison Break producers -- he's an uncouth, sweaty perv. Now, let's try and have a scene involving Bellick that doesn't make me feel like I have give my brain one of those Silkwood showers immediately afterwards. Bellick cuffs Nika to the boys and waddles off, doubtlessly to go watch downloaded tinkling videos on his color-screen iPod. That leaves Nika to tell the boys that her clever trap has been set. "You're right," she says to Michael. "He'll bite on anything I say. You just tell me where we trap him, and I'll tell him that's where the money is." Linc reacts to this plan with a look of concern... or perhaps something he ate disagreed with him -- really, it's a 50-50 proposition with Dominic Purcell's facial expressions.

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Prison Break

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