Prison Break

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It's Hard Out There For A Linc …

Instead, T-Bag orders Trisha to tie everyone up, and Michael asks irritatedly, "Why don't we just skip the theatrics and you tell us what you want?" What T-Bag wants is to put a bullet in Michael's brain. What he'll settle for is tying everyone up. Trisha awkwardly fumbles with the zip-ties she's using on everyone, T-Bag waves everyone over to his kidnap van with his gun, and Mahone demonstrates what a badass he is by breaking loss, leaping over the side of the building with his hands tied, then escaping in a hail of gunfire. It helps that T-Bag's a terrible shot.

Once the little band is back at the condo, T-Bag has the hands-tied Bellick and Trisha sitting on the floor, with their backs against the wall, while Michael gets to sit at a table. And then -- oh, heaven help me, we're in for the T-Bag monologues. Don't get me wrong, Robert Knepper is a fantastic actor and the fact that he manages to play this character without a wink and a nod to the camera is a testimony to his professionalism, but I am so bone weary of T-Bag's annual "Lo, here is my grudge against [fill in the person here] and how it has exacerbated my [fill in the character flaw here] but now, through torturing you, I will be able to accomplish my [fill in the catharsis T-Bag thinks he will achieve but won't here]." I have no wish to play T-Baglibs.

So this year's variation on that theme: oh, there is not much difference between Michael and T-Bag except that one is a one-handed, child-raping, mass murderer and the other is an alpha geek with the ability to control people through the power of Blue Steel. Also, if Michael is interested in making sure that he's not brutally raped for the next twelve hours, he might want to take all of Whistler's pages from the bird book and make sense of whatever the line drawings mean.

So when T-Bag name-drops Scylla and Michael condescends with, "This is not a game, Theodore. You need to tell me who you've been talking to," T-Bag reacts poorly. He pimp-slaps Michael a few times, then reminds him, "I don't need to do a damn thing. That's the benefit of being the man with the gun." T-Bag then opens his GATE-labeled box, pulls out some office supplies and a pair of wirecutters, then tells Michael that he's going to start writing down everything he knows about Scylla and the book, or "I'm going to paint these walls with your gray matter." T-Bag uses the wirecutters to release Michael's hands, then walks off. Michael checks to make sure the tracking anklet is still in place, then smiles.

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Prison Break

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