Oh my God, of all the disturbing things I viewed in this episode -- brutal torture, T-Bag's histrionics, the death of a regular -- I believe the one that will have me lunging for a bucket of bleach to wash out my mind's eyes the very minute I finish this recaplet? Took place at the 38-minute mark, when General Von Baldy called Gretchen "my girl" and then planted a wet, passionate smooch on her. There are not enough capital letters or vowels available for the "aieee!" I want to type right now. Also, the good men and women who soldier in the fields of psychiatry have not yet invented the professional vocabulary that can explain this relationship. He orders her tortured, she reiterates by … swooning. Also, he probably fathered her child. Again, not enough vowels in the world for the "aieee!" I want to type. To Gretchen's partial credit, she appears to gather some of her senses back and claims to be working as a free agent, but General Von Baldy correctly interprets this as her version of "Plenty of other guys have been asking me out."
Also, this episode was backstory central. Part One: We find out that Don Self is a bereaved father and widower -- his wife died during complications in childbirth and the baby was lost too -- so he's pretty much okay with ushering Dr. Sara out of Team Scylla HQ and letting Mahone torture Agent Blots Out the Sun. Mahone is fiendishly good at this sort of thing, and perverts a heart monitor to make sure Agent Blots Out the Sun is kept in the maximum amount of alert agony. Mahone makes Agent Blots Out the Sun apologize to Pam, then fits him with cement cufflinks and shoves him off a pier in mid-monologue. We'll see if this does anything for his peace of mind.
Part Two of backstory central: We find out all about Brad Bellick this week, as his observation of Mahone's paternal grief and Lincoln's solid determination have given Brad two insights. First, he's wasted his life as a bully who didn't cultivate any positive human relationships. Second, his dad died when he was a small boy, and he's spent his entire life feeling the loss. Why should we feel so much sympathy for Bellick? Hmmmm.
Team Scylla gets the idea to use the vast warren of atmospheric tunnels below the GATE corporation to dig through a water pipe and get to Scylla. Michael's tumor decides to act up, so Sucre totally covers for him. (For all that Dr. Sara and Michael are sweet together, she is going to have to realize that she will be sprung on parole from the Prison of Love because the Michael/Sucre bromance is a life sentence). Bellick and Linc manage to turn off all the water in Los Angeles for an hour so that Michael and Sucre can drill through to Scylla, then all four guys are working on setting up safe passage through the cross-section of a massive water pipe (I think), but then with one thing and another, the water comes back on and the newly-sympathetic Brad decides that dying for a good reason beats living a purposeless life, so he makes sure the passage is safe and gets crushed by a mighty flow of water in the process. Wade Williams, you will be missed. Let's hope Bellick's sacrifice hasn't been in vain, as the One World Conspiracy is planning on moving Scylla within the next 24 hours.
Also this week: the po-po have come sniffing around GATE corporation following Andrew's disappearance, so T-Bag spends much of the episode slinging southern-fried bullshit at the detectives and bullying Trish into covering his footsteps. His crafty scheme works. Of course it does -- if you cut T-Bag down, he only rises up stronger.
Check back on Monday for the full detailed recap. Until then, look back at the most ridiculous moments.
The episode begins with Linc punching a tied-up Agent Blots Out the Sun back at Team Scylla HQ. He's hoping to soften up Agent Blots Out the Sun so he'll call General Von Baldy and say, "I've killed everyone." Agent Blots Out the Sun politely tells Linc to keep on pounding, because he has no intention of doing his bidding. Lincoln's like, "Okay!" and so we get LINCOLN SMASH! After a bit, Bellick comes in and fussily drags Linc off. He's escorted over to the table, where Dr. Sara asks, "Believe me now? Beating him isn't going to work." No, but judging by the amount of sweat Linc's pumping out, it's a hell of a workout.
Linc then sets up the premise for why they're keeping Agent Blots Out the Sun alive: they want him to call General Von Baldy and claim that Team Scylla's dead. Michael is skeptical this can even work: "You don't think a trained military veteran is going to hear the fear in [Agent Blots Out the Sun's] voice? They're going to know he was coerced." Linc is like, "Give me a little more time with him," and Michael gently lets him down with "I hear you, Linc, but he can't make the call if he's unconscious." Bellick reminds everyone that whatever they decide to do to Agent Blots Out the Sun, they'd better do it quickly, because Mahone's not going to wait forever. We then cut to Mahone, who's looking worse than we've seen him all season.
Meanwhile, at the One World Conspiracy's HQ, Lisa's delivering the bad news to General Von Baldy: it'll take them three days to move Scylla. General Von Baldy's not down with that, and Lisa seethes, "Respectfully, this is not as simple as unplugging a laptop and moving it to another room. The data on Scylla is too delicate --" General Von Baldy rolls over her explanation before it can degenerate into the kind of specificity that would require massive ret-conning in upcoming episodes, but Lisa does not back down: it's taking three days. Anything else would be a miracle. Just then, a flunky comes in to say that Agent Blots Out the Sun is not returning any phone calls, and oh, whatever shall they do? General Von Baldy snaps that the flunky can just keep calling, and in between ringy-dingies, he can draft a press release calling out Michael and Lincoln, so at least the public can be reminded that these fugitives are still at large and need to be captured. General Von Baldy finishes by shouting, "I want it impossible for them to walk down the streets of Los Angeles without being recognized!"
Back at Team Scylla HQ, Don Self comes by and asks "I assume we haven't made much progress with our friend over there?" Michael lazily drawls, "Any suggestions?" "How about we talk to him?' Don Self replies. Sucre says, "Great. You wanna give him some milk and cookies while you're at it?" Don Self rolls his eyes, then slams down his briefcase while he says, "How about some nice conversation?" Going by how both Linc and Dr. Sara recoil, I'm going to guess there's not an emergency sleeve of Nutter Butters in there for emergency conversations.