Prison Break

Episode Report Card
Sobell: C+ | Grade It Now!
Up A Road Slowly

All the inmates are in the courtyard, on their knees with their hands behind their heads. The head of the police -- a.k.a. the Colonel -- comes in, and Lechero blusters, "We received no word from this." The guards cut down that bluster with a rifle butt to the gut, and the Colonel explains that someone in the tower saw a rifle scope. Lechero protests that it's impossible. The Colonel spits, "There is a gun in your prison, and it was pointing at one of my men. We are going to find it." We cut to Scofield going bug-eyed with dismay as he realizes his monocular is responsible for this whole scene.

Linc and Sofia are walking along a lovely shoreline. They look like any other picnicking couple on the beach, and within moments, it becomes apparent that Linc hopes they give off that impression too. Linc begins digging in the sand. Sofia asks, "When was the last time you saw your son?" Linc looks at her and keeps digging with his hands. Sofia says, "I don't automatically trust people either, but at least I can tell when they have good intentions." "Good for you," Linc grunts, and continues digging. Sofia peels off her shirt (she's wearing a camisole underneath) and huffs that she's tired of trying to prove herself to Linc, so she's just going to chillax. Linc looks up long enough to get an appreciative eyeful of Sofia, and for the second time in an episode, we see a female character getting the full male gaze treatment. Sofia calls him on the ogling and goes back to relaxing.

Things are a lot less chill in Sona; all the guards are busy storming the prison with riot shields up. Inside the closet in Lechero's suite, Sister Magdalene is nursing a freak-out, but T-Bag takes control and promises her everything will work out: "I will not let anyone find you in here." Magdalene whimpers, "Lechero hates me." T-Bag assures her, "Lechero does not hate you. You hold a very special place in his heart." She protests, "So many girls can take my place," and wow, T-Bag must really be smitten, because he does not snap, "Can you pull the Meredith Grey business after the guards have gone?" Instead, he assures Magdalene that "he knows you're better than them. You're a real woman. All men ever do or will desire." Magdalene is totally missing the abundant social cues here. (No wonder she's only got one client; the girl can't tell when someone's interested!) She asks T-Bag if he knows what she is. He replies, "In this world, sister, we are all prostitutes. You are a queen." The guards enter just then, so the sweet talk ceases temporarily. However, these are the slackest guards on the planet, because for all the tough talk about not resting until they find the rifle in the prison, not a single guard thinks to look for the contraband inside the closet he's standing in front of. A few cells away, the one overachiever finds Michael's monocular. We cut to Michael in the courtyard, and he looks like he's just sensed that indeed, the worst-case scenario has usual.

Michael's cell is locked, and then the guards come down for a round of smack-the-prisoner. First, they pick the wrong prisoner to brutalize, and Michael shouts that it's his cell. By the way, for those of you still wondering if Shouty Scofield = Hottie Scofield? The answer is "yes." But the guard who was being spied on, Hurtado, is unswayed by this observation. Michael points out that the monocular isn't a weapon; Hurtado smacks him across the face for that. Maybe he's just embarrassed that he made a big fuss over nothing. He points a pistol at Michael's head and asks why Michael was watching him. Michael has no good lie.

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Prison Break




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