Prison Break
Just Business

Episode Report Card
Sobell: A- | 1 USERS: B
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The Brief Wondrous Life of Cole Pfeiffer
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

The episode opens in the Team Scylla clubhouse, with Michael and Dr. Sara chillin' on a couch and having yet another discussion about his precarious health. As Dr. Sara prepares to shoot him full of no-seizure stuff, she warns him that "This isn't a magic elixir." Michael could use actual medical attention from a hospital, she cautions. Michael wants to get Scylla first. Me, I want to find out what miracle cleaning agents they used to rid the place of the dead bodies. Did we not see, like, four or five people get gunned down in the last five minutes of the last episode? What happened to them? Who got put on body-disposal detail, and how did they do it?

Alas, we'll never find out how Team Scylla HQ regained its pristine, loft-like vibe. Instead, we see Linc doing a perimeter patrol of the warehouse. After noticing a few matchbooks in places where they ought not be -- i.e. tucked into doorframes or right in front of doors -- Linc goes on full alert. We don't see what he sees, because we cut back inside to Sucre, who is busy doing something that requires him to pick things up and flex his muscles. You keep on doing that, Sucre.

Michael then calls Don Self, who rather pissily inquires, "I take it you're ready to talk now?" Michael figures they can meet. Don begs to differ: he would like to start shooting smoke bombs into the team HQ. And when the three people inside -- Michael, Sucre and Dr. Sara -- head for a door and open it, Don Self starts shooting bullets at them. Everyone ducks, and Michael's phone rings. Kind of an inconvenient time for a call, huh? Oh, wait, it's Self. He says, "You're surrounded. Come out with your piece of Scylla, Michael." We see Don Self play with his gun (literally, you pervs) and Michael is all, "Oh yeah? Make me." So Don does by lobbing more smoke bombs into the place. Gosh, if only there were dead bodies around to absorb the odors!

Don Self continues lobbing gas bombs into the Team Scylla HQ, and then he hears a click behind him. Don Self turns around and gets a face full of LINCOLN SMASH. And then we hit the credits. I approve. Every episode should start with Lincoln pummeling something.

Cut to Linc walking Don Self into the now-not-at-all-smoky Team Scylla HQ. In my opinion, everyone should stop futzing over Scylla and start trying to sell the magical cleaning elves that clearly manage this warehouse. Their powers of reversing the effects of gunfire and smokebombs are amazing. After a few seconds of Don Self being all snotty despite the gun pointed at his head -- seconds in which Sucre manages to sneak out with his heavy sheet of metal -- everyone's posturing is interrupted by Gretchen unleashing a submachine gun on the premises. At this point, it is a wonder that gunfire gets anyone's attention, it's used so much. Anyway, Don Self assumes his helpless-mope persona and says, "Now that we all have guns pointed at us, let's talk." Michael would like to know exactly who he's talking to. Don Self claims, "You're talking to a guy who spent seventeen years in service of his government, all by the book. You know what the sum total of it was? Nothing! Nada. We're very similar, Michael, and fundamentally, we want the same thing. And I have a way to get it ... I got a buyer for Scylla, a guy who wants to destroy [the One World Conspiracy] as much as you do, and he's willing to pay a lot of money for it." This gets Lincoln's attention. Michael, however, derisively says that he'll pass. Don Self says, "I burned you. And I'd apologize, but what's the point?" Especially since we all know he's not in the least bit sorry. Anyway, Don reasonably points out, "We're all out in the cold now, but we're not going to be able to hide from the [One World Conspiracy] on a shoestring budget." Michael's still not buying what Don's selling, but he promises Don they'll be in touch. Don and Gretchen take off, and Linc gives Michael a look like A seven-figure payout could put a lot of titanium in my LINCOLN SMASH hand. I'm just saying. Michael insists they stick with the plan. Lincoln is like, " ..."

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Prison Break

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