Meanwhile, back in Tooele, Lincoln and Michael have made the strategic mistake of actually believing T. Bag when he said that Tweener had the map. Tweener soon sets them straight, and gives them a look like, And you think I'm the dumbest guy in the room!
T-Bag has been busy memorizing the map. Then he eats it for good measure. When the rest of the cons get back to the car, there's T-Bag, burping little bits of map all over his chest. Michael says, "Tell me that's not what I know it is." As T-Bag sits up, he says, "It is. But don't worry -- before I destroyed it, it committed to it my photographic memory." He pops the last fragment of map in his mouth with considerable gusto. Wait -- T-Bag's good at cards, he's charismatic enough to gull a group of giant racists into following his every whim, he comes back from an amputation stronger that ever AND he's got a photographic memory? Does he also have the power of flight? Can he move things with his mind? Has he seen a million faces and rocked them all?
Michael expresses similar skepticism and T-Bag says around a big mouthful of paper, "I'd have tattooed it to my body, but I didn't have the time." Then he points out to Linc that for a prisoner, he sure forgot the number-one place where cons like to stash everything. This make Linc MAD! Linc smash! Or, to be more accurate, Linc grabs T-Bag by the collar and attempts to shake some information loose. T-Bag does more fast talking, pointing out that if he were to dip the tasty chocolate of his information into the delicious peanut butter of the boys' manual labor, everyone could walk away happy. "As of this moment, I'm your map," he says. Michael is left to twiddle his cap and wonder why on Earth T-Bag couldn't have just bled to death in the season finale. Tweener picks the exact wrong moment to say, "Well, then, yo, we'll split it four ways. Right?" Wrong. Linc is itching to put someone in a car trunk. He shoves the guy in there and says, "You're not worth $1.5 million." Tweener gets in. I hope he manages to scream through the trunk, "I don't know about y'all, but I actually saw some action this morning! With a live woman! So there!"
Speaking of improbable survivals, C-Note has apparently emerged from his riparian interlude with no damage whatsoever. Even his clothes look better. He's currently walking through Cache County, Utah. C-Note walks by a house that just happens to have a giant RV for sale in front of it. After helping himself to a long drink from the hose left in the front yard -- a nice touch is how he lets the water run until the sun-warmed stuff in the hose is pushed out by fresh, cold liquid -- C-Note is startled by the lady of the house, who is clinging to her screen door as she warily asks if she can help him. C-Note immediately goes into his "Don't be scared of me, sheltered lady" song and dance. Then he asks how much the RV is going for. "Probably out of your price range," Ma Joad replies. C-Note says easily, "Give me a shot," and she bites off, "Forty thousand dollars." C-Note looks back at it and you can tell he's imagining his family living in there with him. He then says he'll be back for it in a few days. "I can't hold it for you," the woman says warily. He turns and says easily, "I said I'll be back -- with cash."