Prison Break
Map 1213

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Road trip romance -- dead!

Meanwhile, Michael and Lincoln roll into town. They debate how you pronounce Tooele, and Linc wryly adds, "A hell of a town." Nice double shout-outs to Chicago and the chairman of the board, my man! Michael confidently says, "Small is good -- it means the ranch will be easier to find. All we have to do is get the money, and we'll be out of here by nightfall." He puts on his baseball cap, effectively peeling 20 years off his age, then resumes staring out the window, juuuuuust missing T-Bag lurching down the street. I thought it was T-Bag's arm that got whacked and reattached, not his leg?

Back in that hell of a town, Mahone's strolling into the FBI office. Lang instantly blurts out that soil tests from the car-crash site and confirmed that neither Burrows nor Scofield had returned to clay. She also hips us to the fact that T-Bag merely assaulted that teenager's dad in Nebraska, not killed him, so all you T-Bag fans can continue to make apologies for your favorite cartoon villain -- I mean, poor, misunderstood sociopath. Mahone is like, "Pederast, schmederast, what do you have on Scofield?" He adds in a shouty voice, "What does anybody have on Scofield?" The entire office falls silent and sends each other IMs reading "Why doesn't he just take out an ad on America's Most Wanted asking, 'Do you like me -- check yes ( ) or no ( )'?" Some computer nerd pipes up that he's got some results from the hard drive they recovered from the river. I do not know what disappoints me more -- that the writers actually Went There with the whole finding-the-hard-drive thing, or that Michael "I've thought of everything" Scofield didn't think to ERASE THE DRIVE.

The upshot to this scene is that all the computer nerd has found so far are scanned articles on D.B. Cooper. However, since Mahone is Michael's Mind Mate, you can be assured that in mere minutes, Mahone will have figured eeeeeeeverything out. That's not tiresome at all. Nope. Not. At. All.

Out in Tooele, Michael has found two extremely rare things: a working pay phone with a fully-intact phone book, and a genuine hayseed in overalls and a floppy straw hat. After Michael has used the phone book to determine that there is no public listing for the Double-K ranch, Linc collars the hayseed to ask if he would happen to know anything about the ranch. He is one menacing man when he growls, "Double K ranch." After the doughty native manages to escape Linc, the ungrateful escapee turns to Michael and concludes, "Looks like Westmoreland spent his last breath blowing smoke up your ass." Michael begins to outline Plan B: there will be county maps outlining every plot for tax purposes. The maps are typically in assessors' offices. Michael points to some building bedecked in Gothic crenellations, then concludes, "It's going to be in there." Linc whips off his glasses, looking for all the world like he's casing the joint in anticipation of a B&E. He then points to a passel of uniforms going by and grunts that there are a lot of cops around the building.

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Prison Break

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