Prison Break
Map 1213

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Road trip romance -- dead!

Meanwhile, in beautiful downtown Tooele, T-Bag is awkwardly negotiating a bag of purloined Cheetos with his one working paw. As he gobbles the fauxd (faux + food, you see -- alert Rich Hall!), who to his wandering eye should appear but Tweener? T-Bag quickly ducks out of sight, the better to grab the young escapee as he strolls on by. As he flings his arm around Tweener and sings, "Well, lack-a-day, I just found me an in-betweener!" the other con's eyes bug out in horror. I am no fan of the character, but I have to give major plaudits to Lane Garrison for making that moment so darn convincing. This has been his stand-out episode, acting-wise. Using his good arm to grip Tweener tightly around the neck, T-Bag walks him down the block. Tweener is too scared to summon the presence of mind to reach over and twist hard on T-Bag's re-attached wrist. T-Bag forces him up against a wall and asks him where he's going. "None of your beeswax, yo," Tweener says unhappily. The "yo" has to be the product of an involuntary brain stem function. T-Bag does a lot of posturing and hissing about how there's going to be a Team Escarpara reunion, saying, "The stars are collidin' in Tooele, my friend," but Tweener sacks up and huffs, "This ain't Fox River! I don't need any of you!" T-Bag pins Tweener again -- how? I ask you. HOW? -- and he flaps his motley purple frankensteinian appendage in Tweener's face, saying, "As you can see, I need you." Again, I am totally baffled as to why Tweener doesn't just, like, bite or something. Tweener does eventually manage to wrestle himself free and says, "I don't need nothing from you! Nothing!" T-Bag watches him walk off, then sing-songs, "You might, if a man knew where he was supposed to be looking." The camera pulls in on The Last Temptation of Tweener.

And then we go to a blurry shot reading "100 miles outside Las Vegas, Nevada." You know, having made many road trips to Las Vegas in my time, I can assure you that the desert city is not surrounded by rolling prairie. I can also assure you that this plot to have Sucre interrupt the planned Hector/Maricruz nuptials is wearying. Someone needs to hand Sucre a copy of He's Just Not That Into You with little "s"s scribbled in front of every "he." Although I have to say, the biker-jacket-and-Kangol thing is really working for him. Sucre, forget that faithless dishrag and return to the dating pool! However, he ignores my advice and actually finds out where the wedding will be held.

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Prison Break

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