Prison Break
Map 1213

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Road trip romance -- dead!

At FBI headquarters, the news that C-Note was sighted jumping out of a train in Preston, Idaho, prompts Lang to ask, "What is a black man from Chicago doing in Preston, Idaho?" Engaging in a little potato tourism? Mahone rattles off that both C-Note and T-Bag have never been west of the Mississippi, so it's not like they're catching up with long-lost friends. He punches the board and says, "They're headed west and we need to know why." Lang gives him a look like Sit tight, Mahone -- I'm sure you'll figure it out in five minutes.

Out in Tooele, T-Bag's standing in front of Michael and Linc's car and looking very nervous. He has good reason to -- Linc has just pulled another bad-ass move and opened the trunk. He turns to look at T-Bag meaningfully, and T-Bag begins saying. "Ah, no. No, no, no, no... " "In," Linc says forcefully, using Mister Pistol to punctuate his pithy command. T-Bag climbs in. As Linc closes the lid, T-Bag begins yelling, "You're coming back! You're coming back, right? Right?" Linc mutters, "Yep," as he strides off. Michael wheels around and follows him, a spring in his step and a song -- "Panicky T-Bag in C-Major" -- in his heart. The two of them are off to find Tweener.

The lad is still tooling around downtown, not sticking out like a sore thumb in his shoplifted university togs and Fox River trot. He heads into a place called Wood's Garden Center, and we soon establish exactly what sort of person mans the counter at this place: the kind who enjoys boasting about the feckless things he does while burning off massive amounts of fossil fuel. It's macho and wholesome to squander a non-renewable resource! Tweener picks out a shovel. He looks totally edgy. The mulletman behind the counter picks up on this.

Mulletman asks what Tweener's planning on digging, and Tweener lies, badly, "Some stuff in my grandpa's yard." Mulletman leers that he's "got a bigger one in the back, if you're going deep," and God as my witness, I thought we were about to head into a Deliverance-style moment. Tweener thinks so too; his face shows that he's in the throes of an Avocado flashback. Mulletman continues chatting up Tweener, all, "Do I know you?" and honestly, if I were Tweener, I'd be all, "Yeah, you know, I've changed my mind" and just roll on down to the nearest Home Depot, since the odds of someone taking a close personal interest in him there are near zero.

Anyway, Tweener's all, "Let's ring this up" and Mulletman decides that he'd rather put a ringing in Tweener's ears, whacking him with the stick he keeps by the cash register. Mr. sobell stops rocking back and forth (we're at the bottom of the ninth and the A's have just blown the lead) to say approvingly, "I like this guy." Mulletman continues to beat the snot out of Tweener, saying, "I seen you on TV. You're one of them Fox River boys!" We go to what would be the commercials. I try to cheer up Mr. sobell by offering to show him the last few seconds of Tweener's beating over and over again.

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Prison Break

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