So this week, we find out that birdbaths send Mahone into a weird fugue state. Whatever.
We also see that Bellick is being hung out to dry for failing to notice how the PI crew engineered an escape route through Fox River. Because Pope has twice the moral backbone of our favorite C.O., he quits rather than let his charge take all the blame. This was the minor heartbreak of the night -- watching a well-intentioned, reform-minded character take a kick in the ass every time he tried to do right.
The major heartbreak of the night is that Team Escarpara breaks up. I know! I havenât been this distraught over five dudes splitting up since Duran Duran spun off into Power Station and Arcadia. The non-related escaped cons are headed in one direction. Michael and Linc head in another to try and break L.J. out of the Cook County courthouse. They would have gotten away with it too, if it hadnât been for that meddling Mahone. So now L.J.âs headed for adult lock-up in Arizona.
Finally: T-Bag kills that poor vet who re-attached his hand, in a really revolting and sadistic fashion. And Tweener poses as a college student (no, really! Quit laughing!), the better to bum a ride to Utah with a gullible young miss.
Previously on Prison Break: Team Escapara successfully eludes capture; we meet Agent Mahone, who is something of a smarty-pants, and tasty-looking to boot.
So this episode begins with that scene from Terms of Endearment where Debra Winger's laying in the hospital bed waiting to say good-bye to her kids and -- oh. Wait. That's just my TiVo. Who knew my appliance was secretly addicted to movies that make you cry until your eyes are nearly swollen shut?
Anyway, you will all be glad to know the TiVo pulled itself together long enough to change the channel. This episode really begins with Agent Mahone sitting in a lawn chair. He's on the phone, listening to someone talk about how the Mexican border patrol agents have all the mug shots, because it's not like the border patrol has anything better to do than sit around and twiddle their thumbs while they wait on the FBI's "Have you seen me?" milk carton shots.
As Mahone coordinates all this, he stares obsessively at a stone birdbath. When he's done talking to Ives, he walks over to the birdbath and stares at it for a while. The water is remarkably clean and clear for a birdbath; perhaps it's only used by the Adrian Monk of birds. Anyway, we see Mahone's haunted expression in the water. Okay, then.
Meanwhile Michael -- who is wearing a Chicago Cubs hat with his suit and is therefore sufficient disguised -- is looking at the front page of the Chicago Herald. The paper has decided to call Team Escapara the "Fox River Eight." Michael looks up from his paper, and we see that he's also wearing glasses. This is a very smart move: years of wearing frames have proven that when people look at my face, they see the glasses first, so that's what they're most likely to remember.
Michael continues to scope out the pedestrian traffic in the little town's park. He's watching one guy in particular. In a moment, it's evident why: the guy's unloading a picnic from the back of his minivan, and he's just left the food unattended. Michael carefully and casually rises ...
And we switch to Team Escapara, all hanging out in what appears to be a barn. Unsurprisingly, C-Note is complaining: "We're supposed to be in Mexico right now, sipping on margaritas and waiting for the heat to die down. That was the plan." Then he pays obeisance to his bitch goddess Eris by turning to Sucre and implying that maybe, Michael and Lincoln are a wee bit racist and just using C-Note and Sucre as go-fers. C-Note caps his insinuation with "Maybe you and I should go and get that $5 million, know what I'm saying. I mean, it's just sitting there until the two of you are ready to get some air --" Lincoln turns and discreetly asks C-Note to shut up, if by "discreetly," we mean "at the top of his lungs." The boys all degenerate into bickering, and only the healing presence of Michael -- or the basket of fried chicken he's holding -- calm them all down.