Then we zip over to the Hotel Cielo Lindo, a posh place with creamy white stucco, lush lawns... and T-Bag in a hotel room, cooing up at a woman who brings him a margarita, "Oh, you are too good to me, Susie-Q." Oh, no. Just stop it. T-Bag muses, "How did I get so lucky?" and a woman in a Susan-like wig turns around and simpers in strongly-accented English, "Oh, no, Teddy Bear. I'm the lucky one." I will repeat again: Stop it. Now.

The show just won't listen to me. T-Bag comes over, kisses the woman and says, "The day I met you was the day I was born." The woman laughs politely and tells him they're out of time. His eyes closed, T-Bag says, "No, Susan. We got our whole lives together." And then, we get into the world's most awkward negotiation between hooker and john, as T-Bag wants to continue to pay to keep the fantasy rolling, and the hooker tells him, "I would really feel better if you paid me up front." T-Bag snarls, "And I told you up front that if you did this right, I would take care of you, so... " So quit puncturing my fantasy with your real-life demands, lady, his face finishes. Having caught the strong scent of Crazy wafting on the breeze, the hooker tries to get out by telling T-Bag he only paid for an hour and the hour is up. She tells him if he wants more, he needs to pay up front. T-Bag then flies into a hissy over his fantasy having been disrupted. The hooker pulls off the wig, snapping, "I don't know who this Susie-Q bitch is, but no wonder she wants nothing to do with you." Well! T-Bag will put up with a lot, but only he gets to treat Susan as anything less than royalty. And then... well, he's one murderous little one-armed bastard is what he is.

Just so you know: here are my two complaints about that scene:

1. Since when is T-Bag, former head of the Fabulously Gay White Supremacists, willing to canoodle with the melanin-blessed? Are we do understand that, just as colleges are a breeding ground for hasbians, prisons create racists of convenience? (You can thank Evany for that phrase; I was thinking "racist turned racwast?")