Meanwhile, back in Kansas, a nation that's gone entirely too long without seeing any depictions of prisoner brutality by sadistic guards gets that thirst quenched. That's right -- more torturing T-Bag, this time with shish kebab skewers that have been heating on the gas stove for a while. When T-Bag realizes his own roasting flesh is on the menu, he makes a desperate break for it. In the ensuing fracas, the key that was hidden in his sock flies free, the Bozo Fetts notice, and T-Bag quickly swallows the precious object before either of his tormenters can lay their greasy paws on it.
Cut to a shot of a colander being placed in a toilet bowl, then the de-pantsed T-Bag being duct-taped to the whole set-up. T-Bag is listing to one side, looking like he's in shock. Bellick tells him, "We're going to see that key again, friend. We're going to see it real soon." Geary comes in with the means by which that key will be making its return: prune juice, some dips, and a bag of sliders. He asks Bellick, "What do you want first?" We get a long shot of T-Bag's battered face, and then Bellick says maliciously, "Looks like a chew guy to me." The Bozo Fetts pack T-Bag's mouth full of tobacco. Geary commands, "No spitting," and Bellick adds, "He's had worse things in his mouth." T-Bag tries to glare, but his eyes aren't exactly under his own command.
Back in New Mexico, Michael and Dr. Sara have found an alcove in the factory that'll hide them for a bit. Dr. Sara says they've got to get back to her car. Michael protests that it's too far. Dr. Sara points out that it's better to get the car before Mahone calls for back-up, but Michael (correctly) reasons, "He won't call for back-up... he's not trying to catch me. He's trying to kill me."
Commercials. Despite my firm conviction that there needs to be a national law prohibiting the airing of Christmas-themed commercials until the day after Thanksgiving, I am beguiled by the Tord Boontje for Target products.
When we get back, we're in Colorado, where Linc is explaining to L.J. that "your grandfather... was the reason I was set up in the first place. He used to work for the people who wanted me dead. This is all just to get to him." L.J. has a look like, "So you're saying that my problems with you are somewhat less justified than the ones you have with him?" Jane comes in to tell Lincoln that Dad Ex Machina will be there shortly. Linc apologizes to Jane about the lip. He then asks if Jane knows Dad Ex Machina. It turns out the two are colleagues from their days at the One World Conspiracy. Linc jabs, "So I guess you walked out on your family too -- no explanation, no goodbyes... " "I don't have a family," Jane says. Will the evils of the One World Conspiracy never end? First the fixing of oil prices, then the reinforcement of the glass ceiling. Bastards! Jane says, "Lincoln, he really wants to see you -- and your brother. He hasn't seen Michael since he was ten years old." The bland white guy from before comes in to tell Jane that Dad Ex Machina is allegedly here. Jane stalks off, and Lincoln collars L.J. so they can race-walk down a long and lovely hall in the back of the house. Linc explains to L.J. that they're am-scraying because "Michael never met our father." Ergo, Jane must be lying. His escape is thwarted -- and we figure that Michael must have met Dad Ex Machina at some point, because there's the man now, not looking too pleased to see his offspring. Go figure.