Michael and Sucre head to their cell, and Sucre's jubilation over the lockdown ploy working is tempered by the news that Michael expects him to come along on his latest adventure. Michael says, "I need you down there -- it's a two-man job. Let's hang a sheet." Sucre objects: "No, no, no, man. You only hang a sheet when you want to get friendly, you know?" Michael asks, "You want to protect your prison rep, or do you want to get out of here?" He hands Sucre the sheet with no small amount of repressed irritation. Sucre pissily unfolds the sheet and puts it up.
Meanwhile, approximately 0% of the non-escaping inmates have heeded the command to get back in their cells. This would all be very tense and exciting and all, except this is, what, the second big prisoner fracas in two weeks? Wouldn't the CO staff have learned that with this crowd, you've got to defuse them fast? Instead, they let T-Bag fan everyone into one hot mass of irritation. And the COs quickly beat feet out of the area. Excellent! Nothing says "enforcement" like "a lot of angry prisoners milling around outside their open cells."
Michael and Sucre nip out, with Michael awkwardly pulling the sink back into place behind him. Aww, boys. You sure you don't want to stick around for this riot? T-Bag's wearing his best angry face.
Commercial time! It's very amusing to me that an episode which begins with someone yammering about needing to focus on reducing our fossil-fuel dependence should have three SUV commercials in one block.
When we get back from the commercials, the inmates' moods haven't improved. If the intense generic-rock guitar is any indication, they've actually gotten worse. The COs get out, but the inmates have swarmed over the exchange gate through which the guards travel. Cue Bellick, who charges toward the gate and bellows, "What the hell's going on here?" Primal scream therapy, duh. Jerry babbles some and Bellick asks him irritably, "You locked it down with inmates still out of their cells?" Jerry huffs that he can handle 20 out-of-control inmates easier than he could 300. The flaw in that logic, of course, rests within the premise that Jerry's able to handle 20 out-of-control inmates at all. T-Bag is doing a much better job of it.
He gets everyone's attention, then says, "Bellick, I got one for you. What do you call a piece of white trash who couldn't pass the cops' exam and now makes less than the mailman? A CO." Oh, the merriment this quip produces! George S. Kaufman and Edna Ferber could only dream of such badinage during their lunches at the Algonquin! Bellick grins, then tells him to get his hands off the fence. T-Bag snarls, "Suck it, pig!" and this time, Bellick lets his riot baton do the talking. It's admirably pithy. Too bad Bellick doesn't take a cue from his little friend: "You know, Teddy, you let me down, and that's hard to do because I don't expect much from the inbred child of a retard."