This f***ing show. Remember how it started because Lincoln Burrows got framed for a murder he didn't commit? Well, it happened again. And this time, it's Christina who sets him up. But I'm getting ahead of myself here.
So Michael and Dr. Sara manage to kidnap Christina, and they make a bunch of beginners' mistakes, which is baffling seeing as how they themselves have been abducted so often over the course of the series. ANYWAY. Mistake #1 is not gagging Christina in between interrogations, so consequently, she spends all her time needling them about different psychological soft spots -- in Michael's case, telling him that Lincoln is not his real brother, and in Dr. Sara's case, blithering on about her pregnancy. Mistake #2 is not clearing out the bathroom before leaving Christina in it, so she manages to engineer an escape courtesy of some dental floss. I am not kidding. And this is why you should always practice sound oral hygiene.
Christina can escape in part because Michael had headed off to the energy conference to meet up with Lincoln and/or get a hold of Scylla. What happened instead is that he got there in time to watch his brother get framed for killing the guy from the Indian embassy, and since both Michael and Linc are in the hotel, they're probably going to go down together.
As for the other three members of Linc's little team: Mahone and Self twig to the this-is-a-setup thing a lot faster than Lincoln did, and T-Bag is now working for General Von Baldy. His first order of business: kill Vincent Sandinsky, who is revealed to be a turncoat One World Conspiracy stooge. T-Bag passes his entrance exam with flying colors. That young man may have a bright (blood-red) future ahead of him.
We begin this episode with Vincent Sandinsky still playing the part of the mild-mannered academic, pleading with Linc, Mahone, T-Bag and Don Self to let him go. Linc is busy asking Sandinsky if he's sure he doesn't know anything about Christina Scofield, and Sandinsky continues to lie about how no, he doesn't. Then his phone rings, and it's Michael. We go to a loft that could double as the setting for the kind of 1980s music video where a hair metal band proves they're all sensitive by sitting around in tight jeans and cowboy hats and singing songs about their feelings. You know -- light slanting in artistically, a fan rotating in slow motion. Alas, instead of some spandex-clad model giving the camera a reproachful pout, we have the "vertical cables in my sweater make me look thinner! It's a trick of the eye!"-clad Michael giving the camera a reproachful pout. (He is also shaking white powder into ziptop baggies.) But he also gives Linc a handy tip: Sandinsky and Christina are both on the [CONSPIRACY-L] listserv, and they're apparently in each other's calling circle. Michael muses, "They've got some kind of plan. I just haven't figured it out yet. So what are you going to do with [Sandusky], Linc?" Linc fails to answer, "LINCOLN SMASH."
Linc hangs up and walks over to Sandinsky with murder in his eyes. He asks, "Where's Scylla?" Sandinsky looks even more scared, so Linc repeats his question at the top of his lungs. Sandinsky does not reply. What? Repeating a question at a higher volume does not automatically produce a more acceptable answer? What is this world coming to?
Meanwhile, Michael finishes his homemade chemistry project. Dr. Sara comes over with Sandinsky's phone and checks the SIM card in the back. She puts the phone down. Then she kisses Michael for good luck. You know, once upon a time, I would have had to edit out the all-caps "ZOMGSQUEEE!" that this would have prompted -- because back in season one, those two had exquisite chemistry, and back in season two, what with the making out in train cars, it was still pretty hot. And then, Dr. Sara had to go and get her head cut off, and Michael evidently ate his way through the pain, and long story short, these two now have all the erotic sizzle of a bowl of porridge. And that is not right. I mean, it's only been, like three months in Prison Break Time. Any relationship that manages to endure through three months of prison, fugitive life, manslaughter, more prison and more fugitive life should be less dull.