It is hard to determine which character had the worst episode. Was itâ¦
â¦Sucre, Bellick, or T-Bag? They're all consigned to B-plot hell in a caper involving that damn $5 million.
â¦C-Note? He is saddled not only with a very sore throat, but also with the nagging worry that Mahone will eat his family. C-Note's new best friend, Agent Walker, has persuaded the family man to help build the case against our favorite renegade agent.
â¦Mahone? Although his kicking in the door of Dr. Sara's plushy Chicago hotel room was very take-charge and hot, he soon unraveled and so Dr. Sara was able to eventually get the best of him. Or did she? Because, you see, Mahone apparently had a bead on Dr. Sara's personality, so he built up some junkie-to-junkie sympathy, then created a plausible surrender. And now she's off, tailed by Agent Lang.
â¦Dr. Sara? Because y'all, that hair is looking seriously rough. However, it pleases me that she is at least holding on to her purse wherever she goes.
â¦Lincoln? Actually, scratch him. He's doing okay this episode: an old friend not only hooks him up with tickets to South America, the guy also throws in a six-pack of beer and $50. We should all have friends that liquor us up and give us pizza money before arranging our flight from the country.
â¦Michael? It could be argued he had a rough go of it, because his note-passing to President Reynolds (a.k.a. Madame Evil) not only brings him to Kim's attention, it also brings on a few nosebleeds courtesy of Kim himself. And then, when he finally convinces Madame Evil that he will release her icky secret to the public and he's all, "Yippee! Linc and I are about to be pardoned! Iâ¦suppose I will engage in a prison romance with the woman I just said I loved, for I did not ask for her to get off the hook. Anyhoodle, yippee!" â¦ANYWAY, after the gently bleeding Michaael is convinced it is all going to work out, Madame Evil yanks away the hope of a pardon.
â¦Madame Evil? Not only does Michael Scofield threaten to blow the lid off one of her big secrets (she and Terence liked to play Chris & Cathy Dollanganger), Agent Kim threatens to blow the lid off another (she killed her predecessor) if she goes through with pardoning the brothers. Madame Evil outfoxes them both. She uses a press conference to declare that she has TV Cancer ("Yes, it is both malignant and making me more fabulous-looking by the moment"). Nobody has any leverage over her anymore. On the down side, she is no longer leader of the free world.
â¦Agent Kim? After all, not only did he not get to kill Scofield, his plan to make Madame Evil play ball gloriously backfired on national TV.
â¦Kellerman? After all, the poor baby didn't get a chance to kill anyone.
You will recall that the last episode left us hanging: the be-noosed C-Note had been impelled to kill himself lest Mahone eat his family, and we cut out right as C-Note stepped off the bunk in preparation for hanging himself. When we begin this episode, we see that C-Note's done a very poor job of hanging himself. No instant snapping of the neck, or even passing out from asphyxiation for him! Instead, we get a blurry view of the jail as C-Note swings back and forth, back and forth. A guard soon notices that C-Note appears to have turned himself into a prisoner piÃ±ata, and he shouts for the cell to be opened.
We get an unintentionally hilarious shot of C-Note -- it's so, so evident that Rockmond Dunbar's in a harness, and so he's just dangling like a kitten in its mother's mouth -- and then C-Note is rescued by the prison authorities, who are too concerned about things like "breathing" and "heart rate" to ask how their prisoner got a length of clean hemp rope.
Then we zoom back to Chicago, where throngs of voters in thrall to the forces of evil have rallied to cheer for President Reynolds, a.k.a. Madame Evil. High above the ground, Kellerman loads his giant gun, positions it on his shoulder (we do not hear the crisp snapping noises that accompany his bones being crushed beneath its massive bulk), then looks through the scope.
Cut to the plushy hotel where Michael, Linc, and Dr. Sara are hiding out. Michael, Linc and Dr. Sara are still standing around, in shock over the whole "well, this tape isn't good for anything other than blackmail" revelation of last week. Michael politely ushers Cooper Green out with "Thank you for your help, but there's nothing more you can do for us."
Then, as the brothers talk, we see a wild-eyed Mahone sprinting up the hotel's stairs. He is in remarkably good cardio shape for someone whose main hobbies appear to be talking people into killing themselves, and brooding over birdbaths. I guess those nervous freakouts he has keep him young at heart. ANYWAY. He is racing toward the room. Michael is planning to head someplace ten minutes away, and Linc brings the doom and gloom with, "If this doesn't work, we're going to need a way out for good." Michael tells him that's his job; he does not add, "After all, I am the one who has planned nearly everything else." The two brothers quickly establish that an acquaintance named Derek Sweeney will help them out here. Then Michael asks Dr. Sara, "This is your neck of the woods. Wanna give me a corner?" She gives him 3rd and Racine. Michael tells her he'll be there at 3:15. Then he looks up and says, "If anything happens, I love you both." Linc either has the best poker face on the planet or else Michael's been talking in his sleep, because the only one who registers any surprise at hearing Michael say anything aloud is Dr. Sara. She's so surprised she can't even respond, "Um, thanks?" or "Me too" or "Do you mean you love us both like siblings, or that you love one of us in a fraternal one and one of us in a when-a-man-and-a-lady-have-special-feelings way?" Shortly after Michael's quiet exit, Linc silently leaves as well. Dr. Sara looks relieved not to be on the other end of another declaration of love.