MONDO EXTRAS

Babes Behind Bars! (And Michael's Not One of Them)

by Sobell July 27, 2009 10:35 AM
The Final Break

Over on the boys' side, T-Bag is still sucking up to General Von Baldy in the desperate attempt to get him to "spread around a little cash." Von Baldy's not terribly interested in a partnership; in fact, he has bigger fish to fry. Now that he's seen the news about Dr. Sara, he's got revenge on his mind. We see him meeting with his lawyer, saying, "I'm never going to get out of this prison alive. I know that. But I want to bring my enemy down with me. I want her dead." He passes over the clipping of Dr. Sara's arrest with "$100,000 dead" written on it. The lawyer, Daniels, points out, "It's going to require capital. Capital you no longer have." Von Baldy orders Daniels to raid the rainy-day fund and "get that to our friend in the sister cells across the compound." We then see a series of furtive handshake transactions until Gretchen's reading the clipping. I'd be more worried for Dr. Sara but a) we already know she's going to be okay, and b) I'm more interested in learning how Gretchen's managed to keep up her fabulous manicure in prison. That girl should supplement her paid-mercenary work by selling personal grooming secrets.

We then cut to the Foxy River mess hall, where everyone's getting their dinners. Dr. Sara looks for someplace to eat -- she's being watched unseen by some guard -- and when she goes to sit down next to a mountain of a woman, Gretchen warns her off with, "Bad move. Last time someone touched [Skittelz], they got a cracked kneecap." And that is how Dr. Sara ends up sitting across from Gretchen. But she's not in the mood to talk to Gretchen. Gretchen, however, is undaunted, explaining Daddy's family structure while Dr. Sara retches. As it turns out, Dr. Sara's having throat contractions. She tells the guard she's got strychnine poisoning, but the short-haired guard blithely says, "That's that government cheese. You get used to it." Dr. Sara, whose throat is closing up, would beg to differ if she could still speak. She gasps out, "If I don't get to the hospital in the next 15 minutes, I will die and my baby will die. Please." Daddy pops up to ask if the guard can't let her go see the doctor. That was apparently the magic word.

We cut to the prison doctor telling Dr. Sara, "We were able to administer the charcoal lavage in time. You and your baby are going to be okay." Then his bedside manners take a nosedive as he veers into a monologue about how dreadful Dr. Sara's labor and delivery experience will be, how the child will be taken away from her after 30 minutes, and how, if she'd like to escape the crippling and suicidal depression that usually overtakes women, Dr. Sara may as well just start thinking of herself as a surrogate for someone else's kid.

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